Not The Favorite

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Momma Bear Early Morning Drama

So, Jon only works at 9 now, so he offered to get up and help me get Lauren ready this morning. I woke up 15 mins late and was rushing to get myself ready. I got Lauren up and then had to get him up. He washes and fixes a bottle and then makes toast for Lauren. He thinks she'll eat it watching tv in the living room. Uh yeah, does she ever stay still long enough to focus on only toast?? I wasn't aware that a one year old knew how to multi task. I put her in her booster and feed her a yogurt meanwhile I'm still not ready and it's 7:15 and we have to leave by 7:30. He decides that instead of sitting in the kitchen with Lauren to make sure she doesn't accidentally choke on her food, that he would lay on the couch, because at 1 she's fully independent right?? She's not dressed and I haven't picked out her clothes yet. I manage to put on my shoes, grab her some clothes, change her, dress her, grab some breakfast for me, get a sweater and then load myself up with bags and a baby. All the time Jon is watching me do all of this while still laying on the god damn @#%& couch!!! Ooo, you can bet momma was angry. I was like, you know, when you said you would help, I thought you would actually help, not just make breakfast and then lay down while I did everything else. Do you know what his response was??? "I feel like you woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me to do something" I assume that meant he felt groggy. Boo fucking hoo. If I knew I was going to have to do almost everything myself, I wouldn't have hit the snooze button at 6:30.

Lunch Time Additions...

I get home and there is sticky shit all over the coffee table, there's milk all over the kitchen floor where Lauren dropped her sippy cup, half a carton of milk is out on the counter, I can only find 2 bottles when there should be 4 here. Getting pretty angry, decide to have a Mr. Noodles. NO FUCKING WATER IN THE MOTHER FUCKING WATER COOLER!!!!! Jesus Christ!! Jon is god damn useless, a fucking Down's Syndrome Monkey could've at least put the milk away. At least he put out some meat to defrost for supper tonight. Not that that makes up for anything he didn't do today.

Ok, maybe the being more useless than a special monkey comment is going a little far but it doesn't take away from how livid I am.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 10:22 AM 2 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

She's a Big Girl Now

The manual is out and open to the installation instructions. All the parts are gathered and the troops are ready to roll out. Tonight is the night that it finally happens. We will not be beaten and we will fight until our mission is accomplished. We head down to the car.

Stage 2 Car Seat – oh, it’s ON!

We finally got the anchors installed in the car by the dealer on Tuesday. It figures that with everything else that sucks on that car, it would have to have proprietary child seat anchors and wouldn’t fit the standard ones that came with the damn seat to begin with. I have been dreading this moment since we had to put in the first car seat. I’ve heard horror stories about how hard the stage 2 seats are to put in if you don’t have the latch system in your car. Shocking, my car didn’t have the fabulous new latch system… I was fully prepared to put forth hours of work into getting the seat installed. I put Lauren in the front side passenger seat to play and moved anything she could stick in her mouth. Then, Jon and I grabbed the seat and headed for the back seat ready to sleep over if necessary to get this thing in right. Ten minutes later without even breaking a sweat, we were done. Done. I couldn’t believe how easy it was! Take THAT stupid trained professionals whom I’ve heard could take upwards of an hour to properly install one of these beasts. That seat is in there so damn tight it might as well have come welded to the frame.

And we took our first official big girl car seat trip around the block. Did you know that it doesn’t have to be a struggle to get your child in or out of a car seat?? Who knew…


posted by LadyLipgloss at 9:43 AM 2 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The First Step with Yogurt on Top

Good News! I have taken the first step in getting to a better place at work so that I can move on and stop bitching about how much my job sucks. I have formally asked for a transfer to a new project. I will keep my fingers crossed because they now know the alternative would be me leaving the company. Although I did state repeatedly that I loved the company and how much I enjoyed the people, the atmosphere and especially how willing they are to work around my various appointments for Lauren (we've been to the doctor 3 times in the last month for vaccines, but that's a whole other story.)

**I would like to state that in no way did I approach this as an ultimatum. They simply wanted to know what would happen if they couldn't do anything to help. It wasn't like I said "Shit's gotta change or I'm fucking quitting." I would like to think I was much more tactful than that.

I will leave you with this. You know your child is done with their yogurt when this happens.

And yes you sick bastards, I know what this looks like...

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 10:19 PM 1 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Human Nature: Over-reacting

Before I start in on this topic, I would like to say that it in no way was intended to down play the seriousness of the recent events at Dawson College in Montreal. I feel deeply sorry for all of the victims of this tragedy.

Now on to the good stuff. I'd like to thank Stephen Harper for being true to human nature and over-reacting to a situation by trying to enforce a program that 1) has nothing to do with the recent events at Dawson College and 2) would not have prevented such a tragedy from occurring anywhere in Canada. What program you ask? The National Gun Registry. What kind of an ass would think that reinstating a program, that only tells us who has registered their weapons, would help prevent anything? "Ok, thank you seemingly sane person for registering this [insert gun type here]. Enjoy!" It's not like they screen for mental competence before they sell you the weapon so why would they think that making you register it would do anything?

By registering a weapon, it in no way gives Canada an indication that you might use it for anything other than mass murder. In that respect, why does anyone buy guns? To kill things, d'uh. So, by selling and registering guns, Canada is acknowledging that it is aware that you are buying this gun to kill someone or something, either intentionally or in self-defense.

"Gee, I knew when we sold him the gun that he was going to kill something/someone but we had no idea it would be on such a large scale." Like hurting/killing one person/thing is perfectly fine.

People are so stupid and time and time again they over-react and try and institute programs and laws that they feel will help prevent such tragedies. Examples being preventing mass murders by implementing a useless and extreme waste of money gun registry or banning certain breeds of dogs because they are considered "dangerous". Should they have banned Llhaso apsos because my grandmothers dog Farley bit me in the face unprovoked when I was kid? I think so. Or how about the German Shepard that chased me on my bike growling and snarling when I drove past it's house? That's it, German Shepards should also be banned.

Back to the point. People won't stop killing other people, either one at a time or on a larger scale. So don't think by implementing these types of "preventative" programs it is going to stop human nature. You can't predict human nature no matter what law you put into place. Some people just don't care about the consequences. Especially when they intend on killing themselves in the process of the crime they are committing.

For those of you wondering why I'm writing about politics when I don't care about them, I usually find politics so complicated and boring that it's just not worth my time but then they come up with a goody like this. I hate watching the news because stupid politicians make me so damn mad and rants like the above ensue.

And that they say, is that.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 8:21 AM 1 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

One of Those Days

Well, yet another extremely long day past me by today. Not only was I non-productive, but I think I was actually undoing some of my previous work. A migraine threathened to take over by about 4:30 and I just couldn't drown out the most irritating person in the world anymore, let's call this person Beans. Beans just wouldn't shut the hell up and stop bugging me to death. Holy crap I almost lost my mind when they kept asking for a high five because "It's almost 5 o'clock!"

Most of my day consisted of me trying not to cry at my desk due to boredom and yet another person asking for me money, thank you EI. Get in line with the rest of the money-grubbing bastards, you know who you are MC and Student Line of Credit.

Some snippets of my day:

"Seriously, please just kill me now before I have to spend another day in this freakin hell hole that sucks the life out of me as soon as I step out of my car in the parking lot."

"I have no idea what direction to go. I just know that this isn't it. Not even close. I'd like to be busy, none of this hurry-up-and-wait bullshit. I want to talk to customers/clients/people who don't annoy the shit out of me on a daily basis. I want to have nothing to do with computer repair or networking. I want the opportunity to sit down during the day but not the whole day. And I want to be able to hum/sing with the radio that's not tuned to country music. I think my keyboard is giving me lice."

"And is it just me or do they advertise for crappiest jobs ever? I'm not sure what to do. I can't stay here much longer. The air in here is giving me menopause..."

"How do I get into contact with the black market to sell a kidney?"

"If anyone else is reading this, I HATE [insert client name here] AND I WANT A TRANSFER NOW"

I am so sick of days like this and I seriously think I might have a mental breakdown if I'm forced to be on this team for much longer. At least on my old team, my team lead made an effort to come and see me at least once a day to make sure I hadn't been sucked into a blackhole of boredom. He also gave me REAL WORK to do. None of this "ok do this now but i don't care if it gets done" crap.

I might be an exception to the rule but I want to be proud of my work and I want to feel that I've accomplished something. I want to... wait for it... work for my money.


posted by LadyLipgloss at 8:23 PM 0 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

In Remembrance of Jepetto the Cat

Our extended family, John and Erika, suddenly lost a dear friend yesterday . His name was Jepetto and he was a great cat. They had Petto and his buddy, Harvey, for 7 years and they were inseparable. Poor Petto, unknowingly, had diabetes and was in diabetic shock when they brought him to the vet. He was so sick and it was 50/50 if he would make it through the night.

Erika and John had to make the toughest decision any pet owner could ever have to make. They weighed the options of keeping him alive but in chronic pain due to side affects of the twice daily needles and strict diet or put him down after leading a full and extremely loved life. They decided that for Petto's best interest and for his quality of life, they would put him to rest.

I believe in my heart that they did the right thing for Petto, although it hurts so much to lose him. I know in time that Erika, John and Harvey will accept that this was the best thing they could have done and will always remember the fun times they had with each other.

So, to Petto, you were a beloved friend, companion and playmate and you will never be forgotten.

Rest In Peace little buddy.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 9:07 AM 3 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Jacks Views on Religion and Making Someone Think You're Crazy

Some excerpts of an MSN conversation with my friend Jack.

Jack - "Tell him you are really confused because you want to love Jesus, but you are lactose intolerant."

Jack - "Tell him that the Food and Drug Administration is the anti-christ because the keep changing the expiration date on your saviour."

Jack - "Ask him if he ever hears the quiet mooing that is the the love of our lord and saviour."

Jack - "The lord moves in mysterious ways - and food products apparantly. Who am I to doubt the word of the curd."

Jack - "You have to admit it would be effective. You are now re-considering making eye contact with me anymore!"

Jenn - "nope, i'll just be thinking of your odd relationship with dairy products"

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 11:05 AM 1 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Saturday Night

Len and I went out again on Saturday night. We like to get all sexy so that men will pay attention to us, and hopefully buy us some drinks. We actually went out with just the cover charge and ended up pretty loaded. We had tons of fun and I wore a super low cut shirt, which by the way is not a good idea when drinking. The girls made a brief appearance at one point, but luckily I was too drunk to care. Not that I would've cared even I was sober. Besides, it's been awhile since I last flashed someone, I'm thinking back to Halloween 2004 when I flashed Len in the Tannery parking lot and insisted she take a picture of it.

We spent most of the night nasty dancing in the cage/platform. I was doing great until I noticed my company's old IT guy gawking at me. So, I got down and he came over and gave me a monster hug. At which point his girlfriend came over and tried to kill me with the stink-eye she gave me. Yeah, I'm way hotter than her. And Ewwww, just say no to IT guys. Anyway....

We had a good time and luckily the next day I was feeling pretty good, aside from a queasy tummy. Nothing that avoiding food at all cost won't help. We ended up at Len's parents for a bonfire Sunday night and just about threw up when Jon offered me a roasted marshmallow.

I can't wait until we go out again...


posted by LadyLipgloss at 10:58 AM 0 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Random things about me

  1. No one understands who I really am besides my husband, and I truly believe that.
  2. When I was 14, I set my kitchen on fire accidentally and let my mother believe she started it.
  3. I absolutely loved being pregnant.
  4. I am more heartless about people than anyone could imagine, but I would fight to the death for my family.
  5. I am full of potential but am too lazy to do anything about it, which makes me really sad.
  6. I made a decision at 20 to always accept blame for something I've done wrong, because my mother never did.
  7. I hate speaking in public, but I insist on talking loudly so that everyone can hear me when I'm having a two-person conversation in public.
  8. I refuse to sleep naked.
  9. I was a nobody in highschool.
  10. I need other people to think I'm attractive, but I could care less if you like me.
  11. I don't give a rat's ass about politics.
  12. I hate my job, but love my company.
  13. I would rather watch someone do something, than try it myself for fear of failing.
  14. I'm afraid I'm a failure.
  15. I'm afraid that I won't be able to provide for my family because of our large debt.
  16. I love my family but I'm not the favorite.
  17. I have 5 tattoos.
  18. When I was 17, I beat up a girl who spread rumors about me.
  19. I am scared of the dark.
  20. I love the taste of cough syrup.
  21. I suck at small talk, even with my own daughter.
  22. I wish I had a singing career.
  23. I love mangos.
  24. I have suffered from migraines since I was 7 and nothing works to take them away.
  25. I am 27 and still have no idea how to put on makeup.
  26. I love Britney Spears.
  27. Cows are scary.
  28. I dreamt about 9/11 the night before it happened.
  29. I believe in ghosts and really want to see one.
  30. My favorite movies are The Shawshank Redemption and The Goonies.
  31. The first movie at cried at was Zelly and Me.
  32. Some days I truly believe that I am invisible, since I get cut off and just forgotten about in general.

To be continued...


posted by LadyLipgloss at 9:02 PM 2 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Friday, September 01, 2006

Hawaiian Shirt day


My name is Jen. I've brought a Hawaiian shirt today, but I have somewhat of a phobia of ugly shirts. If you all could email me your encouragement, I'm sure I'd be able to wear it.

Thanks so much for your support,


This email was sent out to my entire company on my behalf because I brought a Hawaiian shirt to wear for Friday's Hawaiian Shirt day but wasn't going to wear it. I just didn't feel like wearing and thought I would drape it over the back of my chair instead. Someone didn't like that I refused to wear it so they sent this out to encourage others to get me to wear it.

After the email was sent out, Chris came down and put the shirt on me. So proud of himself that he sent out that mass email, he was. Meanwhile, I have received countless emails of "encouragement" from my fellow Hawaiian shirt wearing co-workers and a few "stick it to the man" and "the shirt doesn't own you" emails from the Anti-Hawaiian shirt rebels.

Note to self: Always lock computer before leaving it alone. Always.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 10:25 AM 1 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!