Not The Favorite
Friday, December 14, 2007
We bought a NEW CAR!!!!
WOOO HOOOO!!! Down with Death'O'Matic! Down with your senior ass! No more break downs, no more not starting, no more worrying!!
I never realized what proper steering felt like until 3 days ago. No more buying power steering fluid every two weeks!!
What is this magical car, you ask? It's a white, fully loaded 2007 Pontiac G5. I love it and the best part is that even though it's new, it's totally affordable!!
I was going to let out some aggression towards Death'O'Matic because the next place it was going was to the junkyard via tow truck. I was picturing myself beating the shit out of it with my bare hands as well as many, many other tools (bats, axes, sledge hammers). All of it Office Space style. But then our mechanics said they would knock off some repair costs if we gave D'O'M to them. And since the best I could hope for from a salvage yard was $50, I had to oblige.
I'm so glad to see that hunk of shit be someone elses problem.
Thank you Karma Gods. Best Christmas present ever.
Monday, December 10, 2007
A Little Clarity Please
She hit me in the shoulder and I said “No hitting.”
So she continued to swing the rose and whacked me in the head. I said “No hitting. One more time and you go to timeout.” She started to rub my shoulder with the rose and said “What about Daddy?”
So I told her, “We don’t hit Daddy, either.”
She thought about that for a second and started lightly tapping my arm with the rose. Then she looked at me and said, “What about poking?”
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Fuck, FUCK, MOTHER FUCKING HELL!!
It would have to happen when Lauren was with me. Good thing I was just down the street from Erika's house when it happened. Erika came and got Lauren so she wouldn't have to wait with me in the cold car, for what seemed like forever, for the tow truck to come tow the god damned piece of shit sent with love from Lucifer himself. I told the nice man from Capital towing to drop it in a lake if he felt like it on the way to the mechanics. He laughed. I was serious, dead-serious.
This is the THIRD issue with the Death'O'Matic in 4 weeks. And we haven't even finished paying for the first repair. I'm past the why-me-jeebus?-why-me?? phase now and have moved nicely along to the take-an-aluminum-bat-and-do-the-"repairs"-myself phase. Now to make a stop over to my SIL's house for the bat. Why not make it a family affair and let my nephews at it? I'm sure they'll love to beat the shit out of it with us. Awww, what a scrapbooking moment! Note to self: bring camera. Second mental note: hide photos from insurance company.
Anyone want to co-apply on a car lease for me? Ignore the debt management stuff and look at the stellar never-late, never-missed 4-year payment history for our current bitch-slap of a car.
Come on. Any takers?