Not The Favorite
Monday, April 30, 2007
Oops! My Head Fell Off
About 10 mins after that, I was freaking out because I thought we had a person about to show up for a course that I hadn't prepared for. After I sent a frantic email to my boss, he strolls in and tells me it's been cancelled. Super.
Then in the afternoon, I managed to send the following emails "Please cancel...", "Hold yer horses!" and then "Proceed as normal..." all to the same person about the same matter.
Thank god the day is over and I can curl up in a ball, rock back and forth and hope tomorrow is better. And to think I actually said this to my mom this morning walking to work, "Wanna come work for me today? It's pretty easy. For the most part." I should have immediately kicked myself in the ass for saying that.
Labels: Big Red
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Observations like Grilled Salmon
* What the hell?? I'm standing at the corner waiting for the walk light and a woman blasts through the intersection with her infant in a stroller. Um, did you not see the traffic coming directly towards you, you dumb tit?!?
* Jon and I were sitting in the livingroom when Lauren runs past us. She stops at her book basket, looks at Jon and points yelling "STOP!" and continues running into her room.
* Getting on the elevator this morning, someone is changing the lunch menu sign and holds the doors open until they're finished. Might have taken an extra 5 seconds to change that sign but as soon as the door closes, some cranky ass starts bitching about it. "Nothin like holding us up. Why couldn't he have done that before? They open at 7!" If you were so concerned about that missed five seconds, how about walking up the stairs to the third floor the next time? Honestly, who takes an elevator to the third floor??? She had no bags or packages and was perfectly capable. Lazy and cranky. I assumed she worked for the government ;)
* After the crank bitch got off the elevator another lady says "That better be some good Grilled Salmon, for $64.99!" Gotta love typos.
It's been a boring week. What can I say.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Please Say Hello to Otis
Then the needles came out. I'm sure in Lauren's eyes those things looked like they were ten foot long jack hammers loaded with molten lava. It took me and two nurses to hold her down. She was getting three shots, two at once and then the third. The first two went in and she started squirming and crying. Poor thing. Once the needles were out she recoiled into me and then Tanya went at her with the last needle. Once we got her leg still, the needle went in, and just when you thought it was over, Lauren grabbed the needle while it was stuck in her leg.
Mother of God, how the hell do you try and fix that one?? I didn't want to pull her hand back and risk pulling out the needle half way through and then have to re-stick her for the last half. So, what do I do? I left it there. She held on for dear life while Tanya pushed the vaccine in as fast as possible.
Poor kid, at least we don't have any more until she starts school, although I'm pretty sure that's no consolation to Lauren. The doctor office is stressful, I was exhausted and so was she. On the way to daycare, I had to fight the urge to pull over, cuddle up in the back seat with her and have a nap.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Stuck in Your Head
What song do you have stuck in your head right now?
Some Hot Car-on-Car Action
However, one fateful morning, karma kicked us square in the ass. Heather lived at the top of Carrington and the easiest way onto the bridge would be to go down Douglas and turn Left onto Maple, which led us directly onto the bridge.
I'm sitting there at the stop stop sign, waiting for a car to wave me into traffic on Maple. A nice car stops and signals for me to pull out. I let my foot off the brake, was hovering over the gas as I look left to make sure it was clear when
This stupid little car, I think it was a toyota but it felt more like a tank, had decided to park itself halfway into my front end.
Heather kept saying "Oh my go, oh my god" and all I could do was to tell her to shut up and get out of the car. Nice, huh?
Anyway, we get out, I make sure we're all ok and then I run into a neighboring house to call my parents and ask what to do. Next thing I know, the police are there and so is my dad to drive us to school. The driver of the stupid tank backs out of my car and parks on a side street while it takes a couple of strong guys to roll mine out of the intersection. I'm standing on the corner with Heather as we watch bus after bus drive past with the bus losers pointing and laughing at us. Sucked to be us that day. I didn't get to drive a car to school for awhile after that.
I have to say though. That lady must have been driving on the curb in order for her hit me the way she did. I hadn't even hit the gas and she plowed into me. Still since it was at a stop sign, it was technically my fault. I think she just wanted a new car and saw an opportunity because believe this, the driver of the tank wrote off her car! She drove it away from the accident and wrote it off! Can you imagine? My parents ended up paying like $5000 just to fix that brown shitbox. Piece of crap wouldn't even start if it was raining out and they had to pay to fix it. Insurance, you ask? I think it was only covered under comprehensive.
Moral of the story: Be nice to others or some bitch will give you a 3000lbs steel reminder.
Friday, April 13, 2007
I Don't Even Know Her!
Mom: Yesterday driving to work: Modern Electric van not moving at light speed nor willing to turn left into oncoming traffic "Move it, Jackass! Come ON!"
Mom: Today having lunch at Mei's: Two women are saying goodbye with the door open. Loudly, "Shut the door."
At least we haven't had a near death experience in rush hour traffic yet. Maybe she's saving that for next week...
Dad: Wednesday driving home in light 4pm traffic. Tailgating a black Echo by about 1 meter. I say "Drive a little closer will ya" as I brace for impact as he turns to look at me like I'm crazy for saying such a thing. Meanwhile, I see the "Fuck off, asshole" look on the passengers face glaring back at us in the Echo. I shoot the "Sorry man, nothing I can do" face right back.
I haven't had a scrunch-down-in-the-car-so-no-one-can-see-you experience since before I could drive. Dontcha just love carpooling?
That is all.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
My 3-year-old Dell laptop fucking blows.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Oh. My. God. I had so much fun and I can barely remember it. There was Mardis Gras beads, speaker dancing and tons of booze. I remember drinking at the bar but not paying for anything, yet I still came home with no money.
I was doing some sort of acrobatics on the speakers while hanging on to poles above and beside me. Honestly with the amount of liquor in me, I’m pretty surprised that I didn’t fall off and brain myself. I still can’t explain the scratched and bruised knee. Perhaps the two are related.
I only flashed my boobs once, for the bouncer to get his beads. I ended up with a whole lot of beads by nights end but I can only remember flashing that one time. Seriously. Because I remembered how hard it was to get my boobs out of that halter top the first time and I wasn’t about to do it again.
Before we went out, I was playing with the Wii Blake and Len brought up with them. I totally need to get one of those. I sucked at boxing and I didn’t care, I was having too much fun swinging my arms around like rabid monkey swatting at an invisible bee. At least in my drunken state, I didn’t break my TV with the controller.