Not The Favorite
Saturday, February 24, 2007
A Random Kind of Week
* Lauren decided it was best to throw up curdled milk and chocolate pudding down the front of my shirt. My entire left arm from shoulder to finger tips was covered. For a split second I considered cutting off my shirt paramedic-style so I wouldn't get puke in my hair.
* We put highlights in my hair and I quite like them. However, they should really warn you on the box that the hideous bright yellow and orange color will fade once the conditioning toner is put in. I nearly peed my pants when I looked at the newly lighten pieces. I hadn't seen a neon color like that since Saved by the Bell.
* I briefly considered conterfeiting money to help get out of debt. Unfortunately, we're too poor to afford the high-tech counterfeiting equipement.
* I also considered self-medicating to forget about all the stress in my life but, again, I'm too poor to buy drugs or liquor.
* Just when I thought "it can't get much worse", the car started making a horrible squeaky, crunchy noise whenever we made a turn. I thought for a second there was a small animal being ripped to shreds in the wheel well. Turns out, it was just the sound of those damn hands in my pocket fucking with my drivers side axle.
* So many people have told me in the past two weeks that things will get better. No they won't and those words have lost all meaning to me.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Stomach Flu Sucks
There's something very unsettling about hearing an 18 month olds stomach gurgling and churning from across the room.
We all seem to be on the mend now but the only one of us who seems to have any kind of appetite is Lauren. Which makes me feel better.
So that's where I've been for the last few days.
Not much exciting or funny has happened over the last few days. Really, can the stomach flu be funny or exciting? Well actually, there was one really funny thing that happened but if I post it, I'd probably end up divorced.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
I'm sorry for being a "bad employee" but I needed help, and you weren't there for me.
Labels: [Insert Company Name Here]
Friday, February 09, 2007
Monkey See, Monkey Gets Fired
If they are so worried about keeping me busy, why haven't they given me any work to do when I ask for it??? Don't bitch to me that I should be doing something when there's nothing to be done. You say "Fine, read this book on blah, blah, blah." Read this book, huh?
Oh, I'll read your book, yes I will. Only because in the back section it gives you tips on job searching.
Labels: [Insert Company Name Here]
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Turkey Pot, Turkey Pot, Turkey Pot Pie!
I never really focused on my weight until two things happened:1) Not being able to shed those last few pregnancy pounds and 2) my new migraine meds.
The New Canadian Food Guide has been released and I decided to check it out. The new vegetable and grain recommendations seem crazy to me. How can one person eat that many fruits and vegetables (8 servings) and grains (7 servings) in one day??!! Ok, the fruit and veg. thing I can actually see happening but so many grains!!!
The point is, on the chart they recommend for a woman my age and activity level (low activity) caloric intake should be 2100 per day. I counted all my calories yesterday and could only come up with 740 approx. Sad, very sad. I scrounged all the boxes and packaging I could find to add this number up. More than anything I was just curious. Jon kept telling me that I would drive myself crazy counting calories.
Today at lunch, I had one of those pre-pack turkey pot pies. After popping it in the microwave, I read the nutritional info and saw a calorie count of 550 and seriously thought about NOT eating it. It happened just that fast. I became one of those women. And Jon was right.
I am going to go off this migraine medication because I have myself convinced that it’s making me fat. I don’t want to spend my life worrying about weight. It’s stupid and I’m not fat. I’m not even close.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
My Not-So Secret Secret
At this rate, the whole office will soon know I’m secretly a trampy-lookin’, booze-hound party-girl.