Not The Favorite

Friday, August 31, 2007

Bacon on the Brain

"Lauren, what would you like for supper?"



"Ok Beef. Hamburger or steak?"

"Would you like pop?"

"Fries or mashed potatoes?"


posted by LadyLipgloss at 7:35 PM 3 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Quasi Under Control

Last week, Lauren threw on her Dunphy genes and tripped over her own feet landing face first on our front door. Welcome first black eye. I have to tell you, it was one of the fastest swelling and hugest goose eggs I had ever seen. This thing inflated like a balloon right in front on my eyes. I put my shoes and changed her diaper because I was sure that when Jon got home from getting coffee, we'd be off to the hospital. Check with the Princess, I was freaking out.

So when Jon came home I showed him our poor baby's head and asked if we should go to the hospital. So matter-of-factly he said, Jenn it's a bump. She'll be fine.

Not so convinced, I called Telecare and they told me everything would be fine. And told me to check on her before I went to sleep but instead, Lauren slept with Mommy that night (Side note: she kicks, punches and snores in her sleep.) Jon got the couch. Teach you to be calm...

Big Red has been much more frustrating lately. Normally, I am not one to gossip about co-workers. But really people, how hard is it to write something down instead of asking me for the millionth freaking time who's teaching the #@$# at the end of Sept??? I got an email this morning asking me about it, AGAIN, and I wrote this hugely nasty email in reply (something about Alzheimer's patients and senility). Then hit the cancel button and replied with the persons name.

And when we tell you that No, I wouldn't be ok with letting you start "helping" me with instructors. I mean it. Stop looking. You are only creating more work for me by making me double back over your "work." I'll tell you when I need help. I'm not overwhelmed, and please stop telling me that I am. Don't rock my boat because you're nervous about our upcoming busy season. I have shit under control. Thanks.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 8:56 PM 3 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

One New Motherboard

And my network card works again! Even though I can't access the Internet using my brand new router, I can connect directly plugged into my DSL box.

Things I've done in the last 20mins:
-Paid bills
-Downloaded tons 'o music
-Updated Facebook

Big sigh....


posted by LadyLipgloss at 7:43 PM 0 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Pennywise the Clown aka Dwayne

I'm walking past the parking lot between Tims and the Centennial Building yesterday at lunch when I see evil talking on a cell phone. Trying to avoid eye contact, I hear "Hey you" and I say "Hi" as I walk faster to get past the eye sore.

"How ya doin'?" it says. "Good" I say barely looking back.

"Enjoying summer?" it inquires. "Yeah" ahead of it by at least 10 feet.

I practically run up the walkway to meet Erika who is waiting for me in front of the Centennial building. With a sour look on my face, I ask "Do you see that guy back there in the shorts talking on the cell phone?" "Yeah" she says. And I tell her "That's the guy who sexually harassed me at CFS."

What kind of ass-clown do you have to be to think it's ok to try and chat up the girl who you spent a great deal of time trying to rub yourself on and making crude, disgusting comments to, who then put forth an official complaint on your perverted ass??

Honestly, if it hadn't been broad daylight and on a busy street, I would've just turned around and punched the motherfucker right in his sleazy face.


posted by LadyLipgloss at 2:44 PM 2 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

It Burns, It BURNS!!!

So my little pumpkin has developed an extreme fear of, well I would say the tub but the same goes for the kitchen sink, the bath. For the last week and a half, bath time has been a nightmare. At first, it wasn't too bad. At the end of the bath, she would lunge out of the tub instead of waiting for me to pick her up. But now, she refuses to even go near the damn thing. We can't even say the word "bath" without her then saying "No, no, no, no scad (scared)." She even points to her crib and said "Nap? nap?" Imagine that, a two year old that would rather go to bed early then have a bath.

Last night, Jon and I decided to try a couple of things to see if we could ease her mind. I donned, what I like to call the worlds ugliest, bathing suit and got in the tub thinking she would feel more safe if I were in there too. Well, she starting freaking out for me to get out because I think she was convinced the water would melt off my skin. So, I get out and we take her to the kitchen sink. At first we tried putting just a little bit of water in and that's a no go. So we empty the sink and try it that way. Oh the screaming...

As last resort, we decide that it would just be easier to let her sit on the counter and I'd just wipe her down with a wet cloth. Everything goes pretty well, except for the shaking and repeating of "code, code" her version of "cold", until we have to wash her hair. There is no easy way to get this part done.

It pretty much goes down like trying to give a cat a bath. Lots of screaming, thrashing and grasping for anything to pull her out of there, and those eyes that say all by themselves Why are you doing this to me? Jon had to hold her body down while I washed her hair as fast as I could go. Afterwards, I swaddled her up in a huge bathtowel, we snuggled in the rocking chair and after a few minutes she was back to her old self again.

If it were up to me (and her), I would just say forget baths and go au-naturel. But I'm fairly certain that social services frowns on that.

Anyone have any suggestions? It seems to be the water part more than the tub part she's afraid of. Which is super confusing since this started almost two weeks ago and this past weekend (for the first time ever) she went swimming at my parents pool and loved it. She didn't want to get out.


posted by LadyLipgloss at 8:24 AM 2 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!