Not The Favorite

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Spiderman, Phil Spiderman

“Good Afternoon [Corporate Life]”
“Is this [Corporate]?” (asked as if it’s my first name or something)
“Um, yes…” (thinking “Did you seriously just ask for the first name of the company name like it’s a person?”)

It would be like calling the Bank of Montreal and asking for “Bank”. What an idiot…

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 4:20 PM 0 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Rat-Face Bird-Lady

I have a theory. It's not to be interpreted or over-complicated. It's very simple.

Most people can be classified as either a rodent (mouse or rat) or a bird. Simply by looking at their face.

What the hell am I talking about? Haven't you ever seen someone and said to yourself "That lady seriously looks like a bird?", "That guy has rat teeth?" or "She's cute as a mouse?" Well, I have. Most people you can classify right away, but there are those whose just don't fit the theory. God damn anomalies....

There is no wiggle room into the rodent portion of my theory. No, that guy doesn't look more like a meerkat than a prairie dog. It's rat or mouse. My theory, my rules. Make up your own theory, ya picky bastards.

Go people watching. Go. Right now. You'll never look at people the same way.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 9:52 PM 0 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Lobster Gravy and Elf Nuts

It's been a week and a half since I got home from the DR and nothing has been mentioned about the adventures myself and the Princess had. Here are the highlights:

We were both was pretty excited to get home to see our babies but I am soooo ready to get my ass back under that thatched-roof hut on the beach.


posted by LadyLipgloss at 9:07 PM 1 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!