Not The Favorite

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Momma Bear Early Morning Drama

So, Jon only works at 9 now, so he offered to get up and help me get Lauren ready this morning. I woke up 15 mins late and was rushing to get myself ready. I got Lauren up and then had to get him up. He washes and fixes a bottle and then makes toast for Lauren. He thinks she'll eat it watching tv in the living room. Uh yeah, does she ever stay still long enough to focus on only toast?? I wasn't aware that a one year old knew how to multi task. I put her in her booster and feed her a yogurt meanwhile I'm still not ready and it's 7:15 and we have to leave by 7:30. He decides that instead of sitting in the kitchen with Lauren to make sure she doesn't accidentally choke on her food, that he would lay on the couch, because at 1 she's fully independent right?? She's not dressed and I haven't picked out her clothes yet. I manage to put on my shoes, grab her some clothes, change her, dress her, grab some breakfast for me, get a sweater and then load myself up with bags and a baby. All the time Jon is watching me do all of this while still laying on the god damn @#%& couch!!! Ooo, you can bet momma was angry. I was like, you know, when you said you would help, I thought you would actually help, not just make breakfast and then lay down while I did everything else. Do you know what his response was??? "I feel like you woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me to do something" I assume that meant he felt groggy. Boo fucking hoo. If I knew I was going to have to do almost everything myself, I wouldn't have hit the snooze button at 6:30.

Lunch Time Additions...

I get home and there is sticky shit all over the coffee table, there's milk all over the kitchen floor where Lauren dropped her sippy cup, half a carton of milk is out on the counter, I can only find 2 bottles when there should be 4 here. Getting pretty angry, decide to have a Mr. Noodles. NO FUCKING WATER IN THE MOTHER FUCKING WATER COOLER!!!!! Jesus Christ!! Jon is god damn useless, a fucking Down's Syndrome Monkey could've at least put the milk away. At least he put out some meat to defrost for supper tonight. Not that that makes up for anything he didn't do today.

Ok, maybe the being more useless than a special monkey comment is going a little far but it doesn't take away from how livid I am.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 10:22 AM


He is a lucky man ... lucky to be alive, lucky to still have balls, lucky he doesn't fit in a microwave, lucky the gun was empty, lucky Fredericton lacks a tar pit to hide bodies in .... yup - he is a lucky, lucky man.

11:00 AM  

But tell us what you really think about the situation.


3:16 PM  

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