Not The Favorite

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I Ripped That Bitch a New One

I found it!!! Or rather Lenora found it once I ripped the liner out of the coat and didn't find anything. She sat down next to the spot where I butchered my coat and said "What's that?" and there it was!!!

My engagement ring!

It's back where it belongs. On my finger!


There will be no funeral for the coat. It doesn't deserve it.


posted by LadyLipgloss at 9:17 PM 7 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

APB - My Coat Hates Me

I put all my jewelry in the inside right pocket of my coat on the way out the door this morning. Well, at about 9:45am I remembered to put my rings on. So I reached down and the pocket is completely empty. Nothing in there – Nada. I then realized there was a hole in the pocket and all my jewelry (necklace, earrings and rings) is in the liner of my coat. I pull everything out, one piece at a time except I don’t find my engagement ring. I searched my coat thoroughly and found that the hole not only leads inside the liner but it also had a hole to the outside of the coat.

Somewhere between the Lunar Rogue parking lot and Carleton Place is my ring. I searched for it but you know, the snow makes that job really fucking hard. I called home and Jon couldn’t find it. I called the sitter and it wasn’t there.

So, I lost my engagement ring this morning. I know a lot of you work downtown, so if you happen to be on my side of King St today, please have a look. It’s white gold with 3 diamonds.

I have hated that coat from day one, but it was a gift so I wore it, even though it was two sizes too big. My coat is out to get me and if it could feel pain, I would kick the crap out of it. But it doesn't so it really doesn't seem worth the effort. I'll be at my desk moping if anyone needs me.


posted by LadyLipgloss at 11:34 AM 4 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Drain Bamage

I have a problem.

In the past month, I have hit my forehead on 1) the dishwasher 2) the front closet and just now 3) my desk. I have also hit my head on the car several times while putting Lauren into her car seat.

I really need to start paying attention.


posted by LadyLipgloss at 3:55 PM 4 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Even Breathing Can Kill You

I heard about a new study that links adolescent girls weight gain with popularity. If you think you’re not popular, you gain weight. All the girls in the study gained but 60-something% of those who had low self-esteem and were unpopular gained twice as much. Now, this may surprise some, but I was both unpopular and had low self-esteem when I was a teenager, yet I was still normal weight.

What irritates me about this study is with this “knowledge”, how do you fix the problem? Hmm? You don’t. No matter what expensive programs you put into place, there will always be unpopular kids. Kids will have low self-esteem. Why? Because it’s human nature not to like everyone and to compare ourselves with others, making us unhappy with our own flaws. And good parenting can only take your kids so far and let’s not forget all those crappy parents out there.

This “study” was a waste of time and money. God, I was just talking to Jon last night about how useless so many of these medical research studies are. Who cares if that glass of red wine might give me a .05% greater chance of heart disease? Give me solid, indisputable facts, like smoking gives you lung cancer and contracting HPV can cause cervical cancer. I’m through with wishy-washy studies that are useless and only make people paranoid to use deodorant with aluminum because some study says that it might, possibly, slightly, but probably not increase your risk of cancer.

Seriously, if you stopped doing all the things these researchers have told you, you'd be dead.

Stop wasting millions of dollars that could be used for finding a CURE. I’m not saying to stop researching causes for cancer or other illnesses, but consider the likelihood of your research being useful.

I’m sure you’ve all heard about the major study that found that soldiers sent into combat had more stress than normal people. Really?? Holy shit! I never would have put the two together. Damn… The things you learn.

Obese emotional eaters are not fat because they’re unpopular. They’re fat because they eat crappy food to feel better. I don’t know any emotional eaters who reach for fruit and vegetables to get comfort. Besides that, I strongly feel that all these studies to find causes for obesity are just a ploy at passing the buck. “I’m not fat because I eat, I’m fat because my daddy didn’t say I love you enough.” Or “I’m not fat because I’m too lazy to get up and start moving, I’m fat because the TV/video games made me sit inside all day.”

Damn you society of non-accountability!!!

I'm not being judgemental or hypocritical; I watch too much TV, eat tons fast food, I constantly over-eat and I don't exercise. I am 5'2" and 115lbs. I have good genetics and will one day pay for it once my metabolism slows down. But it will be my own fault and I can't blame anyone for it, nor should I. Because I am LAZY and UNMOTIVATED. That's not society, that's all me, baby.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 10:30 AM 3 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

At Least She Listens

This morning, the cat was a little frisky because she was licking a toy with catnip in it. She was sitting up on the tv stand and apparently, Lauren had a huge problem with this. She walked over to Trinity and started pushing her back end, telling the cat to "GET DOWN!"

The cat didn't take too well to the pushing and gave Lauren a few swats on the arm. To this Lauren yells at her, " Don't do that! Don't do that again or you go straight to timeout!"


posted by LadyLipgloss at 1:38 PM 3 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Friday, January 04, 2008

SPCA on SpeedDial

I know a lot of you out there have pets, including me. I rant about my jerk of a cat, but at the end of the day I love her and wouldn’t trade her for anything. It makes me very, very sad to know that there are people out there who don’t give their pets the love and respect they deserve.

They seem to have a skewed view of how an animal should be treated. A dog should not be tied up all day out side and then locked in a basement at night. A dog is a pack animal and needs to be with its owners. Sure, you treat a dog like a dog and not like a human. Well, dogs are a lot more socially like people than you’d think and you can’t ostracize them because that’s neglect.

If you can’t afford the basic necessities for your animal (that includes regular trips to the vet) then you should not get one. And you can’t just pick up some random dog from god knows where, or even a reputable breeder, if that dogs’ personality doesn’t mesh with your way of life. For example, I would never get a dog that needs a lot of exercise because I just do don’t exercise. I need a dog that’s just as lazy as me (and yes there are those types of dogs out there, I’ve looked.)

And what did you think would happen if you let your not-fixed pet out unattended all day? You would think you’d get a clue and fix them. Or maybe let them spend some time inside.

Hyper dog? Exercise it and get some obedience training. It doesn’t take a god-damned rocket scientist to know how to properly own and raise a dog. It takes common sense and some research.

I HATE irresponsible pet owners and I will call the SPCA if I see something that’s not right. Your fur-baby deserves better than you.

I'm too upset to read this over again, so please ignore typo's and grammar.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 12:25 PM 3 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!