Not The Favorite

Monday, February 22, 2010

One Twist Too Many

Jodi Picoult – Handle With Care

Do NOT read this book. I repeat do NOT read the aforementioned book. Seriously. If you are considering reading this, STOP. Friends do not let friends read this book. If you have it, throw it out, put it in a closet, bury it. I don’t care as long as you don’t read it.

I read it, on the advice of my mother, who I called after reading 41 pages in to yell at for giving me this book. I was so upset and frustrated. She told me to stick with it, it gets better. So I came back to it after a few days and then I got hooked. I couldn’t put it down until Sat night when I finally finished it. I was floored. And crying. I got up and wrote an angry email to my mother (who’s on her way to Florida) about how upset I was over the last page and a half of the book. How completely unnecessary the ending was and WHY THE HELL DIDN’T SHE WARN ME???

The book goes like this. A little girl is born with Osteogenesis Imperfecta (Brittle Bone Disease). In the first 41 pages, the family of four goes on a trip to Disney where the little girl (age 5) falls down and breaks both of her femurs in a restaurant. The family goes to the ER where the parents are subsequently accused and arrested for abuse. Their oldest daughter is sent to foster care.

This is when I put down the book and yelled at my mother the first time.

It goes on and the family is set free with apologies. They try and sue the police department and social services but after speaking to a lawyer, they end up suing their obstetrician, who is the mother’s best friend, in a wrongful birth suit. (Had they know sooner about the child’s disease in utero, they would have aborted.) I’m going to spoil the ending since I don’t want you reading the book. They win the case and receive $8 million.

Before the cheque is even cashed, the little girl, now 6 ½, goes outside to their pond, steps on the ice and falls through. And dies.

That’s it. That’s how it ends.

This is where I sent the angry email to mom, and can you see why?? How completely unnecessary was that as an ending?!?!

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 11:27 AM 6 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

It Has Pretty Lips

Went in to Yves Rocher the other day and the sales person said "I LOVE the color of your lipstick." I told her thank you but that I wasn't wearing any.

"That's your natural lip color?? Wow."

At first I was flattered by the compliment. Now I wonder if she was just greasing me up so I would buy stuff. I guess it worked because I bought $30 worth of lotion.


posted by LadyLipgloss at 10:38 AM 0 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Friday, February 12, 2010


**Last night, Miz Lauren wrote out all her own Valentine’s Day cards. She wrote all the kids names by herself, with a little help from mama of course. I showed her the letters she was unsure of but mostly she did it on her own. She even wrote her teachers name and told me not to help. She’s so grown up!!

**This morning, I asked Jon to “find something R-E-D” for Lauren to bring to color show and tell. Didn’t the little bugger say “how about dragon?” I didn’t mention anything about show and tell or toy and she understood what I spelled out! I grabbed the red dragon she was talking about and put it in her bag. I was so happy but I realize this is the end of spelling things out now.

**Ever get shocked in the ear? I have. Four times this morning. I was getting some Purolator packs ready with my headphones on and they were so full of static electricity that some how when I moved the packs, it sent a nice shock to my EAR. Thought it was a fluke and kept going. Shocked again. Got irritated but I really wanted to listen to my music so I kept going. ZAP! Third times the charm and I rip out my head phones. Do a couple of packs without music and decide maybe I’ll try one more time. ZAAAPPP!! Ahhh!! And then I started laughing hysterically.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 10:51 AM 0 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Thursday, February 04, 2010


I love to sing. Like, love-love it. But just because I love to sing, doesn't mean I want anyone to hear me. I'm shy about my voice, okay?!?! Really, really shy about it. I don't even like it when Jon hears me sing.

One of my favorite places to sing, is in the file room at work because it's a low traffic area but I'm paranoid that I'll be singing away and then someone will walk in. Or there will be someone in the stacks and I won't notice until it's too late.

Today, I've had Taylor Swift stuck in my head. And so I was mid "Our Song" when I hear paper shuffle and then footsteps and doesn't Jamie walk out from a middle stack.

I stood there and stared at him, like Fuck. He heard me. And he says "Big Swift fan?"

I died. My face turned so-far-past-red-it-turned-white-again-red, my head exploded and then I died.


posted by LadyLipgloss at 11:34 AM 2 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!