Not The Favorite
Monday, January 24, 2011
She Makes It Her Own, All Right
I over heard Lauren singing it at home a while ago and it still makes me giggle.
"Could a been the whisket, might have been the gym
Could a been the three, four six packs, I don't know
But look at the mess I made"
God, that kid makes me laugh.
And everytime, I hear "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks, all I can think of my friend's little girl who sings it as "You better go and get your llama."
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Fuck You, Nazi Milk Bitches!
Normally, I go to Victory to get milk and cream for the office because it’s way cheaper and the staff are not power hungry bitches. Last May, the downstairs cafe refused to sell milk to one of our staff members and we've been boycotting them since. This morning, however, we need milk but we're out of petty cash money so Victory was out. Last week when we needed milk and were out of petty cash, I used my own money to buy it. This week, I’m tapped. So, I decided this was an emergency and went down to the café for 1L of milk.
The exchange went something like this:
“Can you please charge this to [Corporate Life]?”
“You know…we’re not really supposed to be selling the milk.”
“I know but this is an emergency.”
“Ok, but just so that you know, we aren’t supposed to.”
“Yes, I know. Thank you.” (I’m walking away at this point)
“I just have to say it because we’ve getting flack for it.”
“Ok” (Still walking)
Holy fuck. All I wanted was milk, not your effing first born, lady. If I didn’t need that morning jolt of caffeine so bad, I would have just put the damn milk down and walked away.
Here’s a thought. If you aren’t supposed to be selling the milk and cream, perhaps you shouldn’t have it prominently displayed and faced in your cooler RIGHT NEXT TO THE EFFING REGISTER!!
Fuck you nazi milk bitches. Fuck you and your stupid fucking $4/L milk.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
When "Oh Crap I Forgot" Just Won't Work
Mom to son “I’ll go home and see if I can find you your indoor shoes and skates”
Another mom to daughter (something to the effect of) “You don’t have your skates so I guess you can’t go skating”
Then the first mom to the second mom “…program is so disorganized.” Blah, blah, blah…
I’m listening to these ladies and just shaking my head. As I’m helping Lauren get her outdoor stuff off, I tell her “Ok let me just get your indoor shoes out of you backpack for you.” The Y leader says good morning to Lauren and then asks if I brought her skates. And I say loudly (and proudly!) “Yes, her skates are right here.” And point to her skate bag on the shelf.
Passive aggressiveness. Don’t leave home without it!
Ok, so for the Christmas break, all the kids in a Y afterschool program are to go to the Y building and are assigned a room. There was an email sent out a week before the holidays that had two attachments: a schedule of rooms and a memo to tell you what to bring.
The second memo clearly tells you (in BIG colorful letters) to bring each day indoor shoes and swim stuff. It also indicates (in BIG colorful letters) to bring skates and a helmet on Jan 5 and 7th.
So basically, you can read the first one that tells you where to bring your kid but then blame the program because you obviously didn’t read the second attachment?!