Not The Favorite

Monday, February 21, 2011

Condescension Flavored Baked Goods

I swear to Jeebus lady. Every time I see your face, I want to lay into it with something really rusty and pointy.

All I wanted was some effing mini muffins. But no. You can’t do that. To your knowledge, you’ve NEVER done that. Right, I must be mistaken. Oh, I see, it’s just you now working there. Well, I suppose baking mini muffins instead of regular sized muffins would throw your entire effing DAY off. Holy fuck lady.

You know… The only difference between regular and mini sized muffins is the TIN you use. It's not like I asked you to make me a goddamned truffle hamburger with edible gold leaf buns.

I hope to God, the next time I see you, you’re wearing protective gear.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 12:56 PM 2 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

And Jesus said, Come and See... Me Pee?

I just found this pamphlet in the ladies bathroom at work.

Who leaves Jesus pamphlets on a gross dirty bathroom counter? And why did I feel compelled to grab it, scan it, blog it and throw it out...

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 11:40 AM 2 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Just A Little Incident Involving The Boogeyman

I just scared the bejesus out of my little girl.

I realized that I forgot to get her clothes out for tomorrow so I went into her room to get them. So there I am trying to get this sweatshirt out the bottom drawer when I hear Lauren stirring in her bed behind me.

Then... AAAAHHHH!!! She screams bloody murder and throws the covers over her head.

At first I think she's had a bad dream and then it sets in... She doesn't know it's me and thinks I'm a stranger/monster/maniac in her room.

I walk calmly to her bed (so as not to scare her any more than I already have) telling her that it's mommy and I slowly lift the covers up to show her it's me. The look of terror in those blue eyes was enough to make me laugh and cry at the same time.

I apologized for scaring her and she told me she was ok. But man! I still feel horrible.

Worst. Mom. Ever.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 11:44 PM 1 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!