Not The Favorite
Friday, August 22, 2008
Scooby Rooby Roo!!
I shake him awake and I'm like, what the fuck are you dreaming about?? You're howling like a frigging dog!!
Just picture it, Jon fast asleep... Howling... Like a dog...
Holy Christ I'm laughing so hard right now I'm in tears just re-living the moment.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
That's Right... Read the Script Like a Good Boy or Girl...
Visa called to offer me a no interest card. I told them that my sponsor really wouldn't like that what with my gambling addiction and all. And that yes, I understand it's no interest but do you understand that if I get this card, I'm going to rack up a HUGE debt and NOT pay you back? EVER?? No, I don't want your supervisor. You're enabling a gambling addict and damn it, that's just wrong. Click.
Primus called to offer me a $1 a month long distance phone plan. I asked if they had a $0.50 plan because a dollar a month seemed a bit pricey. No? Oh, well, do I get a free gift for signing up like a toaster or a football phone? Maybe a $50 Visa gift card? No, I don't collect Aeroplan points because those programs as scams. Seriously, maybe a $0.75 plan? I really can't afford that extra quarter. The guy on the phone started to laugh and just said thanks ma'am, have a nice day.
I can't wait for the day I can act offended because they dare to question that I make a trillion bagilion dollars a year, and that yes, in fact my technical job title IS "Butt Doctor."