Not The Favorite
Friday, November 18, 2011
It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses A Finger
I have this fear about Lauren skating. I keep picturing her falling down and then someone skating over her little fingers, severing them.
It gives me the heebies AND the jeebies.
I know there is an extremely tiny chance that this would ever happen but I still think about it. A lot. And it turns my stomach each time.
I really wish they sold thermal insulated chainmail mittens.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Attitude Isn't Just for Home Use
Let me know if you waive this absurd fee and I'll change it then.
Date: Wed, 16 Nov 2011 13:33:39 -0400
Subject: Fw: Phone Services
Thank you for contacting Bell Aliant,
We have received your email and appreciate that you have taken the time to write to us. We can certainly make that change for you. However, before we do, we would just like to make you aware of the $20 charge to have the change done to the directory listing. Do you still want us to make this change?If you have any further questions or inquiries feel free to contact us again.
Thank you for choosing Bell Aliant. We appreciate your business.
Have a great day!
Bell Aliant - Your Bundles Expert
To: Customer Service Customer.Service@aliant.ca
Sent: Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:15:53 +0000
Subject: Phone Services
Name Jennifer Carson
Residential Phone 506 454-####
Please change my directory listing from
Please respond via email.
Monday, November 14, 2011
This Long Long Weekend Needs Something... Ah yes, Alcohol.
Friday, I started the day off by taking care of Jon and cleaning up his puke covered jacket. (He had a fun night at some dude’s birthday party) I gave him a cold glass of water, Advil, Gravol and a cold Magic Bag. He told me that I take better care of him then he does me when I’m hungover. I told him that I knew and it was because I loved him. Did I mention it was supposed to be MY day to sleep in? Right…
Lauren went out for a play date around 3pm and I called at 7 to see if she wanted to come home. Nope, not yet. She called an hour later to come and pick her up. When I get there, she’s obviously tired and crawls her way to the door. Something is wrong and I’m surprised no one called me sooner. She was weak, had an upset tummy and a headache. I carry her upstairs, get in the door and call to Jon that I need his help now. And when he slowly starts to get up, I yell, I need help NOW! I just wanted him to get her shoes and jacket off so I could put her right into bed. I grab the thermometer only to discover she’s got a fever, too. Later that night, I asked Jon to change the water bottle and the garbage.
Side note: Why the hell does Jon NEVER DO ANYTHING QUICKLY when I need him to, no matter how urgent I indicate it to be?? The goddamned house could be on fire and he'd either just saunter in OR assume I had it under control and continue doing whatever it is he's doing.
Saturday, Jon goes to work and Lauren wakes up still feeling horrible. High fever, headache, backache, throat hurts. So I decide to take her to the doctor and since the wait times are long at the clinics, we trek up to the Oromocto ER. My mom came with me to keep me company and Lauren proceeded to sleep on me almost the entire time. In fact, she slept on the couch before mom got there and the whole car ride, too. And if you know my kid, you know that this is COMPLETELY out of character for her. Anyway, the doctor (Dr Handsome, as I call him) thinks it’s a UTI so he gives us a prescription for amoxicillin and tells me he’ll check in with us in 48hours after the cultures for her urine test have come back.
On the way home, Lauren said something to me but I didn’t know what, so I just said mmhmm only to turn around a second later to see that she’s vomiting all over herself. My mom is FA-REAKING OUT trying to get a plastic bag I use as a garbage bag off the arm rest, but it’s attached so she’s panicking. As I’m pulling over, I just tell Lauren that it’s ok and to just let it out. Mom finally frees up the bag and Lauren finishes puking in it. Once the car stops, I jump out and rush to Lauren and realize MUCH too late that I had placed my purse at her feet and she’s just thrown up alllllll over it. At least the pockets were closed but still, it’s time for a new one. She’s thrown up all over her booster and the seat, too. Once we get home, I clean all that up as Lauren rests on the couch.
FYI, the water and garbage were not changed. It’s hard to keep a girl hydrated with no water. Just sayin.
I still have to pick Jon up at 5. And when I get Lauren back into the car, settled and instructed to puke into the thermal coffee mug I found in the car, I notice there are a couple of guys walking into the parking lot. I assumed Laurie was having guests so I didn’t think too much of it until one of the guys stops at my car window. This guy is wearing a nice black suit/tuxedo. So I rolled down the window and he asks me if I could do him a big favor. His truck ran out of gas and he and his buddy are supposed to be attending a wedding very soon up at Kingswood. Could I possibly drive them to his house to get another vehicle to go get gas? And I said sure! (I'm feeling risky...) But I could only take one of them. (I left out the reason was because my back seat was recently covered in vomit.) So I drove the older man to his house about 2 minutes up the street and he was very appreciative. Went to get Jon and everything was fairly quiet for the rest of the night.
Sunday morning, the water and garbage are finally changed. And I get a phone call from the ER doctor checking to see how Lauren was doing. I seriously couldn’t believe how nice this doctor was. The cultures weren’t back yet, he just wanted to check in. I love you Dr. Dickinson and if you’re willing to change the water bottle and garbage when I ask you, I’ll make a swap right now. Seriously.
Anyway, the afternoon came and it was time to get groceries. This is where the weekend really came to a head. (The "you" is Jon)
You’re mad at me because I dare look into the shopping cart and ask why you want $12 of chowder mix. I never told you to put it back. I never even mentioned it again. I simply asked a question. In fact, I was excited to eat the seafood chowder that night.
You’re mad because I don’t want to pay $5 for a single Lunchmate and suggest the 2/$5 ones instead.
I asked if you wanted to go down certain aisles and you answer no, so I ask you if you’re on a health kick, again you say no.
In the car, I ask why you’re upset and you tell me it’s because you feel like you can’t get anything you want at the grocery store.
I tell you to go screw yourself and you can do the shopping all by yourself next time. Where the hell are MY splurge items?? Oh right, there aren't any!
Back story: The last time we went grocery shopping, Jon decided to go on a snack spree. So he piles the cart full of fixings for guacamole and bacon wrapped scallops, and grabs a box of mini beef wellingtons. We’re not made of money and have a grocery budget so I asked if we really needed all this food for one night. He got pissy then, too. I should point out that nothing got put back. We bought everything in the cart.
Monday morning, I asked Jon if he remembered to give Lauren her antibiotics and he said no. (He rarely remembers) So he gave them to her and I put down the syringe on the coffee table so I could continue doing her hair. I asked him to rinse it out. Twice. And he told me he didn’t know what I was talking about. So I said forget it! I’ll do it myself and he said, ohhhh.
I’m heading down to the car carrying my non-vomit purse, Lauren’s backpack, her skates to be sharpened, a booster seat and car keys. At this point, I’m just so... exasperated at everything that happened over the weekend, that the sight off Jon’s red D&D backpack where Lauren’s booster seats goes, just throws me over the edge and I throw everything on the ground and yell God Damn It!
I just want to sit down, point to everyone and say fuck you and fuck you and fuck you. And especially fuck you to you.