Not The Favorite

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Bitch, You Better Keep Driving

I am not usually the type to bitch about stupid drivers and can normally let things slide but holy sweet fucking Christ people. Today you pushed me too damn far.

I was leaving Jon’s office this morning after dropping him off and doesn’t some asshole coming in decide to take up the entire width of the driveway almost plowing into the front of my car.

About 2 minutes later, in front of the on/off ramps on Kimble, I see this car driving towards me in MY lane. And it only takes me a second to realize that this fucking RETARD didn’t scrape his god damned windshield which was COMPLETELY covered in frost. Um, isn’t it kind of important to see out of the front of the car? Or maybe this particular driver felt he could use his echolocation skills and “sense” the other drivers with his super bat-like hearing!

On to lunch time. After dropping Lauren off at Jay’s, I made my way down Fulton Ave and was about the turn left onto Maple. Or so I thought. This Black Malibu, turning left on to Fulton at the stop sign on Maple, couldn’t decide whether it wanted to stop or not and so it galloped, yes galloped, straight through the STOP sign right in front of me. I had the right of way, what with NO STOP SIGN seen for me anywhere, so I threw up my hands in the air like “WTF Dude??” and the female passenger FLIPS ME OFF!!! AHHHHHH!!! She was so fucking lucky the driver kept going cause bitch would’ve gone DOWN! I. Was. Livid.

I just wanted to get to Jon’s office for him to bring me back to work and don’t I get stuck behind a frickin BACK HOE going 20kms the entire length of Maple Street. (Insert teeth grinding noise here)

I finally make it to his office and all I could say when asked how my day was going was “Get me the hell out of this car.”

Although, it did make my day to see a lady slip on a patch of ice next to her car and throw her keys over her roof.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 12:49 PM 3 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Random Observations That Think They're Better Than You

I am a thief. This morning, as I was walking past the ATM machine to come up into my office, I noticed a lone Tim’s cup sitting on the shelf next to the garbage can. I noticed it because it was a Roll-Up-The-Rim cup. I stopped and also noticing no one around anywhere, I decided that cup… was MINE! Why you say? Because it hadn’t been rolled up yet! I scurried my way up the stairs and into the bathroom where I proceeded to dump out the contents into the sink. I unrolled the rim and…… stupid please play again. Thievery is soooo not worth it.

I am THAT parent. The one who sent her sick kid to daycare. I’m sorry but mommy just started a new job and can’t take any time off yet. Sorry, Jack, Alivia and Jeanette. Next time, she stays home. I promise.

Speaking of sick. When someone is sick all the time, with one thing after another, sympathy tends to wear thin. Yeah, it sucks you’re sick but what else is new. Suck it up buttercup. If you’re going to live this way, you better learn to manage it and keep on going because the world won’t stop for your body aches, chills, fever, stomach ache, chest pain, head ache, exhaustion, back pain or whatever else is ailing you that day.

As the first person you see when entering my place of work, I understand that I must always put forth a professional appearance. I also understand that you, pink lady, seem to think I’ve never held this type of position before. I do not need fashion advice or tips on how to look professional from you. Last week, you told me that to maintain a professional appearance you always wear a suit jacket. Let’s get one thing clear, pink lady. Putting a black suit jacket on over a white t-shirt and brown cord pants, does NOT make you look "professional". On that particular day, I had the below outfit on. You tell me who looked more professional.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 12:16 PM 1 LEAVE A COMMENT, BITCHES!!!