Not The Favorite
Friday, December 14, 2007
Buh-Bye POS
Ok, big breathe....
We bought a NEW CAR!!!!
WOOO HOOOO!!! Down with Death'O'Matic! Down with your senior ass! No more break downs, no more not starting, no more worrying!!
I never realized what proper steering felt like until 3 days ago. No more buying power steering fluid every two weeks!!
What is this magical car, you ask? It's a white, fully loaded 2007 Pontiac G5. I love it and the best part is that even though it's new, it's totally affordable!!
I was going to let out some aggression towards Death'O'Matic because the next place it was going was to the junkyard via tow truck. I was picturing myself beating the shit out of it with my bare hands as well as many, many other tools (bats, axes, sledge hammers). All of it Office Space style. But then our mechanics said they would knock off some repair costs if we gave D'O'M to them. And since the best I could hope for from a salvage yard was $50, I had to oblige.
I'm so glad to see that hunk of shit be someone elses problem.
Thank you Karma Gods. Best Christmas present ever.
We bought a NEW CAR!!!!
WOOO HOOOO!!! Down with Death'O'Matic! Down with your senior ass! No more break downs, no more not starting, no more worrying!!
I never realized what proper steering felt like until 3 days ago. No more buying power steering fluid every two weeks!!
What is this magical car, you ask? It's a white, fully loaded 2007 Pontiac G5. I love it and the best part is that even though it's new, it's totally affordable!!
I was going to let out some aggression towards Death'O'Matic because the next place it was going was to the junkyard via tow truck. I was picturing myself beating the shit out of it with my bare hands as well as many, many other tools (bats, axes, sledge hammers). All of it Office Space style. But then our mechanics said they would knock off some repair costs if we gave D'O'M to them. And since the best I could hope for from a salvage yard was $50, I had to oblige.
I'm so glad to see that hunk of shit be someone elses problem.
Thank you Karma Gods. Best Christmas present ever.
Labels: Death'O'Matic
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Ka-Ching $$
You know what I love? Driving along quietly and the car stalls in the middle of the street. And then won't start again. Woohoo!! Another repair bill!! Yay me!
Fuck, FUCK, MOTHER FUCKING HELL!!
It would have to happen when Lauren was with me. Good thing I was just down the street from Erika's house when it happened. Erika came and got Lauren so she wouldn't have to wait with me in the cold car, for what seemed like forever, for the tow truck to come tow the god damned piece of shit sent with love from Lucifer himself. I told the nice man from Capital towing to drop it in a lake if he felt like it on the way to the mechanics. He laughed. I was serious, dead-serious.
This is the THIRD issue with the Death'O'Matic in 4 weeks. And we haven't even finished paying for the first repair. I'm past the why-me-jeebus?-why-me?? phase now and have moved nicely along to the take-an-aluminum-bat-and-do-the-"repairs"-myself phase. Now to make a stop over to my SIL's house for the bat. Why not make it a family affair and let my nephews at it? I'm sure they'll love to beat the shit out of it with us. Awww, what a scrapbooking moment! Note to self: bring camera. Second mental note: hide photos from insurance company.
Anyone want to co-apply on a car lease for me? Ignore the debt management stuff and look at the stellar never-late, never-missed 4-year payment history for our current bitch-slap of a car.
Come on. Any takers?
Fuck, FUCK, MOTHER FUCKING HELL!!
It would have to happen when Lauren was with me. Good thing I was just down the street from Erika's house when it happened. Erika came and got Lauren so she wouldn't have to wait with me in the cold car, for what seemed like forever, for the tow truck to come tow the god damned piece of shit sent with love from Lucifer himself. I told the nice man from Capital towing to drop it in a lake if he felt like it on the way to the mechanics. He laughed. I was serious, dead-serious.
This is the THIRD issue with the Death'O'Matic in 4 weeks. And we haven't even finished paying for the first repair. I'm past the why-me-jeebus?-why-me?? phase now and have moved nicely along to the take-an-aluminum-bat-and-do-the-"repairs"-myself phase. Now to make a stop over to my SIL's house for the bat. Why not make it a family affair and let my nephews at it? I'm sure they'll love to beat the shit out of it with us. Awww, what a scrapbooking moment! Note to self: bring camera. Second mental note: hide photos from insurance company.
Anyone want to co-apply on a car lease for me? Ignore the debt management stuff and look at the stellar never-late, never-missed 4-year payment history for our current bitch-slap of a car.
Come on. Any takers?
Labels: Death'O'Matic, Money
Friday, November 30, 2007
Lump O’ Sobbing Useless
I feel so defeated. All I want to do is curl up into a tiny, tiny ball and cry. We can’t get something we desperately need. No one can help. And the only one I can blame for this is myself. The one thing I thought I was doing right to get us where we need to go on my life plan, has come back to bite me in the ass. It is the roadblock that is between me and peace of mind. This sucks.
Oh, and Merry Christmas Death’O’Matic. I hope you enjoy the new parts that we had to buy you with our Christmas money. It’s not like you meant to die right before Christmas, right? Right?!?! Hunk of spiteful metal…
Oh, and Merry Christmas Death’O’Matic. I hope you enjoy the new parts that we had to buy you with our Christmas money. It’s not like you meant to die right before Christmas, right? Right?!?! Hunk of spiteful metal…
Labels: Death'O'Matic, Money
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Turn That Frown Upsi..Oh Fuck It
I love my husband but damn it, is it too much to ask to want to be talked to honestly? And by that, don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth. I'm a big girl, you don't need to lie to me to make me happy.
If you didn't want a new car, why did you build me up by letting me think you did? You knew how much I looked forward to saying goodbye to that death trap. I've been talking about getting a new one for at least a year and now you have the gall to tell me that you like our car?
See, I'm not exactly clear on what you like about it. Is it the nice orange glow it has from the check engine light being on for two years? Or the way something really expensive breaks on a bi-monthly basis? Maybe it's the fact that you don't have to see me when driving at night because the dome light has been out for 3 years because when we try to change it, the car fills with smoke. Oh, I know... It's the screeching. The car sings to us when we accelerate. Yes, I do love that too.
Really though, I don't get it and right now I'm too disappointed to even be mad about it.
If you didn't want a new car, why did you build me up by letting me think you did? You knew how much I looked forward to saying goodbye to that death trap. I've been talking about getting a new one for at least a year and now you have the gall to tell me that you like our car?
See, I'm not exactly clear on what you like about it. Is it the nice orange glow it has from the check engine light being on for two years? Or the way something really expensive breaks on a bi-monthly basis? Maybe it's the fact that you don't have to see me when driving at night because the dome light has been out for 3 years because when we try to change it, the car fills with smoke. Oh, I know... It's the screeching. The car sings to us when we accelerate. Yes, I do love that too.
Really though, I don't get it and right now I'm too disappointed to even be mad about it.
Labels: Death'O'Matic
Saturday, February 24, 2007
A Random Kind of Week
Since I don't really have anything to post about, here are some random things that happened to me this past week.
* Lauren decided it was best to throw up curdled milk and chocolate pudding down the front of my shirt. My entire left arm from shoulder to finger tips was covered. For a split second I considered cutting off my shirt paramedic-style so I wouldn't get puke in my hair.
* We put highlights in my hair and I quite like them. However, they should really warn you on the box that the hideous bright yellow and orange color will fade once the conditioning toner is put in. I nearly peed my pants when I looked at the newly lighten pieces. I hadn't seen a neon color like that since Saved by the Bell.
* I briefly considered conterfeiting money to help get out of debt. Unfortunately, we're too poor to afford the high-tech counterfeiting equipement.
* I also considered self-medicating to forget about all the stress in my life but, again, I'm too poor to buy drugs or liquor.
* Just when I thought "it can't get much worse", the car started making a horrible squeaky, crunchy noise whenever we made a turn. I thought for a second there was a small animal being ripped to shreds in the wheel well. Turns out, it was just the sound of those damn hands in my pocket fucking with my drivers side axle.
* So many people have told me in the past two weeks that things will get better. No they won't and those words have lost all meaning to me.
* Lauren decided it was best to throw up curdled milk and chocolate pudding down the front of my shirt. My entire left arm from shoulder to finger tips was covered. For a split second I considered cutting off my shirt paramedic-style so I wouldn't get puke in my hair.
* We put highlights in my hair and I quite like them. However, they should really warn you on the box that the hideous bright yellow and orange color will fade once the conditioning toner is put in. I nearly peed my pants when I looked at the newly lighten pieces. I hadn't seen a neon color like that since Saved by the Bell.
* I briefly considered conterfeiting money to help get out of debt. Unfortunately, we're too poor to afford the high-tech counterfeiting equipement.
* I also considered self-medicating to forget about all the stress in my life but, again, I'm too poor to buy drugs or liquor.
* Just when I thought "it can't get much worse", the car started making a horrible squeaky, crunchy noise whenever we made a turn. I thought for a second there was a small animal being ripped to shreds in the wheel well. Turns out, it was just the sound of those damn hands in my pocket fucking with my drivers side axle.
* So many people have told me in the past two weeks that things will get better. No they won't and those words have lost all meaning to me.
Labels: Death'O'Matic, Lauren, Misc., Money
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Stupid Girl
So I forgot to post that I almost killed my car on Friday. Who knew that if you don't have your scheduled oil change (only 6 months late...) in an unreliable car, that it might possibly run out of that precious oil? Yeah, I'm a dumbass. I was driving along and the oil light flickered and it scares the bejesus out of me since I've heard that once the light comes on, you should stop driving immediatley or you risk your engine seizing and you're in for a thousand dollar treat for you car. So, since it just flickered I decided to try and make it home. I made it home and in comes the neighbor mechanic who then proceeds to put in 3 bottles of oil just make it show up on the dip stick. Apparently, my car leaks oil. Who would have known since that car leaks every kind of fluid you put into, except gas. Oddly enough, we get great gas mileage.
There is my stupid girl moment. Although, my stupid boy husband drives it just as much as I do. So much for all guys being into cars.
There is my stupid girl moment. Although, my stupid boy husband drives it just as much as I do. So much for all guys being into cars.
Labels: Death'O'Matic
Thursday, August 10, 2006
I know where you live
Well, she's broken again. That stupid, spiteful thing that is my car.
On the way home from the park last night, the water pump seized in our car. I managed to get halfway home before the temperature gauge hit the red and steam was coming out of the hood. Wouldn't it figure that something like this would happen when:
1) Lauren is with me
and 2) I decide not to bring my cell phone because "we're just going to the park."
I hate our piece of crap car. It's the worst investment we've ever made. I suppose this is exactly the reason one should not purchase a used car:
1) Viewed for the first time over the Internet
and 2) In one afternoon because "I have to have it!"
That'll teach me. Now I somehow have to pull $400 out of my ass because we are poor and have no credit cards. Good thing our landlord is also our mechanic. He seems to come to our rescue when car trouble hits but on the other hand, we have to pay him because he knows where we live...
On the way home from the park last night, the water pump seized in our car. I managed to get halfway home before the temperature gauge hit the red and steam was coming out of the hood. Wouldn't it figure that something like this would happen when:
1) Lauren is with me
and 2) I decide not to bring my cell phone because "we're just going to the park."
I hate our piece of crap car. It's the worst investment we've ever made. I suppose this is exactly the reason one should not purchase a used car:
1) Viewed for the first time over the Internet
and 2) In one afternoon because "I have to have it!"
That'll teach me. Now I somehow have to pull $400 out of my ass because we are poor and have no credit cards. Good thing our landlord is also our mechanic. He seems to come to our rescue when car trouble hits but on the other hand, we have to pay him because he knows where we live...
Labels: Death'O'Matic
