Not The Favorite
Saturday, February 24, 2007
A Random Kind of Week
* Lauren decided it was best to throw up curdled milk and chocolate pudding down the front of my shirt. My entire left arm from shoulder to finger tips was covered. For a split second I considered cutting off my shirt paramedic-style so I wouldn't get puke in my hair.
* We put highlights in my hair and I quite like them. However, they should really warn you on the box that the hideous bright yellow and orange color will fade once the conditioning toner is put in. I nearly peed my pants when I looked at the newly lighten pieces. I hadn't seen a neon color like that since Saved by the Bell.
* I briefly considered conterfeiting money to help get out of debt. Unfortunately, we're too poor to afford the high-tech counterfeiting equipement.
* I also considered self-medicating to forget about all the stress in my life but, again, I'm too poor to buy drugs or liquor.
* Just when I thought "it can't get much worse", the car started making a horrible squeaky, crunchy noise whenever we made a turn. I thought for a second there was a small animal being ripped to shreds in the wheel well. Turns out, it was just the sound of those damn hands in my pocket fucking with my drivers side axle.
* So many people have told me in the past two weeks that things will get better. No they won't and those words have lost all meaning to me.