Not The Favorite

What would be the one part of your body that would totally suck if it got burned?

According to the Princess, it's your arse.

Ok, how about the second worst part then?

Well folks, I just burned my boobies. Yep, you read the correctly. I managed to burn my chest whilst making chicken soup about 15 mins ago. How the hell did I do that? I was trying to break a part a solid mass of chicken thighs in boiling hot broth with a spoon. Most of them came apart pretty easily except the last two. So, I pushed with all my might and SPLASH! The spoon ended up pulling towards me and scooping/splashing broth directly on my chest. There is even a drip line of burn down the inside cleavage of my left boob.

So here I sit typing with a cold pack on my chest, wondering how a magic bag could feel so damn prickly.

I suck and should no longer be allowed near anything hot. Also, I should really stop cooking in tank tops.

Labels: Clumsy, Cooking

Imagine this, being blissfully asleep after having a 2 day migraine only to be woken up by a big SPLAT! Drip, drip, drip… I wonder, what the hell was that? And why is my hand wet?

On Friday at 4:38am, the ceiling directly above my side of the bed sprung a leak. And I mean SPRUNG a leak. The damn ceiling was pouring water. ON. ME. I threw some towels down and was yelling “Jesus, Jon wake up the ceiling is leaking!!! Get up!” At least he had the sense to get a laundry bin and use it to catch water. So, I’m standing there wondering what to do next and doesn’t Jon say to me, “Well, guess you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

Thanks.

And Jon calls me this morning to tell me that not only do we have a leak in our bedroom, there are now leaks in our bedroom closet, the living room directly over the coffee table and somewhere in Lauren’s room (he can hear it but it hasn’t leaked through the ceiling tiles yet.) At least we don’t have to pay for repairs, thank god for renting.

I’ll leave you with a conversation I had with Lauren last night.

Me: Do you want me to read you a story?
Lauren: Yes.
Me: Are you going to listen to me while I read it?
Lauren: No.
Me: Then I’m not going to read it.
Lauren: WAAAAAAA!!!
Me: Ok, fine. I’ll read it but only if you listen to me.
Lauren: No. I’m not going to listen!

Stubborn like mule, she is. And yeah, I still read it to her. I’m such a sucker.

Labels: Jon, Lauren, Misc.

It's official. The tom-boy has left the building; we have a girlie-girl on our hands.


On any given day, this how you'll find Lauren. Well, either this or in her Cinderella dress. She got a huge stash of dress up ballerina and princess clothes for Christmas and she's been putting them to good use. Beautiful, isn't she? Though I would imagine it's hard to pirouette in those high heels.

Forgive, forget and move on.

"He who searches for friends without faults, will never have a friend."- Unknown

Labels: Lauren

Just about everyday, I have someone in this national 200+ employees company tell me that “I’m awesome” and that “I’m fantastic to work with”, that last one came two days ago actually. In fact, the president of the company gave me props yesterday for my “entrepreneurship”. But then you get the passive-aggressive retarded bitches who think because something isn’t exactly how it should be or there was, dare I say, a mistake made, they feel it necessary to take the stupidest action possible and make it seem to other people within this organization that I am an incompetent idiot.

If I made a mistake, don’t go to the project manager and tell them I don’t know what I’m doing. Come and ask me about it, jerk. And no, I don’t need a refresher about creating facilities. I didn’t have the address yet, fuckwad. I could have answered that in a simple email directed at me instead of having to go through a series of no less than 5 people to get an answer from me.

Holy fuck, I’m sick of people talking down to me like I just fucking started this fucking job!!! Damn it, I know how to create and post invoices. I just got a very irritating email right now (can you tell??) and I’m not sure it’s possible for me to send back a non-“Fuck You, you stupid fucking tit!!!” response.

Oh, and I really enjoyed this little gem from our tech support team last month when my program froze while trying to scroll through a report. “I’ll send you a document on proper scrolling.”

Um, gee thanks, cus I’ve never used one of them there , um what do you call them again? Com-pu-ters?

Holy Christ, I’m pissed off right now. Lucky this new AP person isn’t in this office or she’d be fucking pulp right now from the giant mechanical pummeling arms that are about to burst out of my eyes.

You live in Canada people, please don't make me tell you this again. This country does NOT end at Montreal and Moncton is not next to New Brunswick, it's IN New Bruswick! PICK UP A GODDAMNED ATLAS!!!@!

I think I need a mental health day...

Labels: Big Red, Rants