Not The Favorite
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Consider Yourself Dropped
I had a person in my life that I considered a very close friend. We shared a lot of things and kept a lot of each others secrets. I valued her friendship and I valued that we trusted each other so much.
Jon and I have had a tough year and I spent a lot of time talking to this friend. There were some negative things said about Jon on her part and whether it was said to make me feel better, or they really meant it, I took it at face value. I sat on the comment for a long time and these same comments were said again on multiple occasions whenever I was upset with Jon or my life in general. Still I let it go. Then when that friend needed my help with her problems, I offered practical advice and never made negative comments.
The more I thought about what I said to her and how she reacted to me when I was upset, the more hurt I got. The more I wondered why she didn’t value my marriage as much as I did. Maybe she did, I dunno. The point is, why was my initial reaction to her problems to fix them and hers was to throw mine away? But again, she could have just said those things to make me think things weren’t so bad. Well, I needed to work out my feelings about this, so I talked to Jon. He was pretty upset about the mean, hurtful things said about him, and rightly so. He and my friend were friends even longer than we’ve been together and so he confronted her about it.
I am now branded as a bad friend because I “betrayed her trust” by telling Jon about the things she said. Maybe I am a bad friend and there’s a secret code I broke. Instead of owning up to what was said and admitting it, she has only said that I broke her trust. She’s throwing away a friendship of over 10 years because of this. Just admit what you said, apologize and move on. I admit that I probably shouldn’t have said anything to Jon but in the end, everything else that was secret between us, still is.
But I suppose there were signs that maybe she didn’t care about me as much as I thought. I initiated the majority of contact between us. I called, I IM’d. When dad was taken to the hospital in an ambulance because his blood pressure dropped out, I confided in her that I was scared because I didn’t know what was wrong. Her response was, “oh, what else is new?” I will never forget that day. Ever. Because I was scared to death and she was so insensitive.
We haven’t spoken in weeks but I still creep her on FB to how things are. I noticed she was in an accident on Sat so I asked if she was alright and once she indicated she was ok, I replied that I was happy she was ok. I got laid off on Thursday and she hasn’t said a word to me. Nothing. She knows how tight things are in our house and what a lay off means to my family. I get it we’re in an argument, it happens but still, this is a huge deal for me. And even not talking I still managed to care enough to ask about her well being after a car accident.
Well, I’ll say it here. I cared about you, I loved you as my best friend. But your lack of compassion and selfishness has just ended any hope of reconciliation. It’s obvious you were only in it for a friend to party with. Stupid me, and I fell for it.
Jon and I have had a tough year and I spent a lot of time talking to this friend. There were some negative things said about Jon on her part and whether it was said to make me feel better, or they really meant it, I took it at face value. I sat on the comment for a long time and these same comments were said again on multiple occasions whenever I was upset with Jon or my life in general. Still I let it go. Then when that friend needed my help with her problems, I offered practical advice and never made negative comments.
The more I thought about what I said to her and how she reacted to me when I was upset, the more hurt I got. The more I wondered why she didn’t value my marriage as much as I did. Maybe she did, I dunno. The point is, why was my initial reaction to her problems to fix them and hers was to throw mine away? But again, she could have just said those things to make me think things weren’t so bad. Well, I needed to work out my feelings about this, so I talked to Jon. He was pretty upset about the mean, hurtful things said about him, and rightly so. He and my friend were friends even longer than we’ve been together and so he confronted her about it.
I am now branded as a bad friend because I “betrayed her trust” by telling Jon about the things she said. Maybe I am a bad friend and there’s a secret code I broke. Instead of owning up to what was said and admitting it, she has only said that I broke her trust. She’s throwing away a friendship of over 10 years because of this. Just admit what you said, apologize and move on. I admit that I probably shouldn’t have said anything to Jon but in the end, everything else that was secret between us, still is.
But I suppose there were signs that maybe she didn’t care about me as much as I thought. I initiated the majority of contact between us. I called, I IM’d. When dad was taken to the hospital in an ambulance because his blood pressure dropped out, I confided in her that I was scared because I didn’t know what was wrong. Her response was, “oh, what else is new?” I will never forget that day. Ever. Because I was scared to death and she was so insensitive.
We haven’t spoken in weeks but I still creep her on FB to how things are. I noticed she was in an accident on Sat so I asked if she was alright and once she indicated she was ok, I replied that I was happy she was ok. I got laid off on Thursday and she hasn’t said a word to me. Nothing. She knows how tight things are in our house and what a lay off means to my family. I get it we’re in an argument, it happens but still, this is a huge deal for me. And even not talking I still managed to care enough to ask about her well being after a car accident.
Well, I’ll say it here. I cared about you, I loved you as my best friend. But your lack of compassion and selfishness has just ended any hope of reconciliation. It’s obvious you were only in it for a friend to party with. Stupid me, and I fell for it.
Labels: Friends
Monday, November 24, 2008
Observations: 2nd Floor - Lingerie, Bruises and WTF???
- I got this awesome new black bra and decided to wear it yesterday(more like last Tuesday...). So I'm working away and notice that the straps keep falling down. I assume they just need to be adjusted and figure I'll just do it at home. So I get home and start changing out of my work clothes and realize that something just doesn't look quite right on my bra. My first thought was Oh Shit... My fab new bra is broken. Upon further inspection, I realize that it's completely undone. So when I felt my straps start to slide down at 11am, my bra had come undone and I was basically free-boobing it. all. day. long.
- I've come to the realization that if there is any way for me to bang my head on something, I will. Stupid dryer...
- Sorry but under no circumstances will I EVER lend out my lingerie. End of story.
- I got a big bucket of WTF on Thursday. I got pulled in the big cahunas office and was told they are shutting down the NB offices of Big Red. And so as of Dec 31, I wouldn't have a job. I was stunned for about 8 hours and it wasn't until the middle of Grey's Anatomy did it really sink in. I, the bread winner of my family, will not have a job after the new year. There have been a few options to stay within the company, be it working from home or moving up north-east or out west (way, way out west). I'm going to try the home route but it may turn out that the Carsons will pull up and move out of this town. Who knows, I may just need a good screeching...
Friday, November 07, 2008
Die You Green Frog Bastard
I'm fully aware that kids test their boundaries but that doesn't mean knowing about it makes it any easier. I hate bedtime. It's the worst damn time of the whole frickin day at our house lately. I get it, you want to stay up and play. But you know what? After 8pm is MOMMY time. And in that time, mommy swears like a sailor, eats food ALL BY HERSELF and watches gross, scary shows that would give you nightmares. So when I tell you it's bed time and I tuck you in, do NOT immediately kick off the covers and start yelling about water, stuffies, slippers or monsters. I have already taken care of all the issues you are currently beside yourself about. So knock it off and go to sleep.
Side note - The two things Lauren does that will instantly transform me into a raging psycho are kicking at the covers when I'm trying to cover her up in bed and elbowing me to make me go away. When those happen, it takes every ounce of willpower NOT to go all Homer Simpson on her throat.
Back to bedtime... My two favorite lines in our house right now are "I don't care if you sleep but you HAVE to stay in your bed" and "Mommy's show is on so I'll come back and check on you in [insert random number] minutes." That normally keeps her quiet for a few minutes. Actually getting her into bed and tucked in takes about a half hour and really, I can deal with that. What I can NOT deal with is the INCESSANT coming out of her room because she has to pee, she wanted to know what I was talking about, it's too dark, she needs a new stuffy, her slippers won't stay on, did the DOW just drop again...
I swear when it's 10:30 and she's still getting up for whatever reason, I'm ready to duct tape her cute little ass to the bed. Sorry SuperNanny Jo but your bedtime method does NOT work at this house. She comes out, you put her back, she comes back out. Rinse, lather, repeat.
At my wits end last night, I took out her favorite frog night light and told her it was broken and at the shop for repairs until next week. Truth be told, that light was way too bright and only facilitated her nighttime wakefulness. So, frog-be-gone and no, it's not coming back. I don't care how much screaming is involved. It took us an extra 15 minutes to get her into her bed and tucked in last night and she only came out twice to pee. But she was asleep by I would say 8:30ish.
God I hope that wasn't a fluke...
Side note - The two things Lauren does that will instantly transform me into a raging psycho are kicking at the covers when I'm trying to cover her up in bed and elbowing me to make me go away. When those happen, it takes every ounce of willpower NOT to go all Homer Simpson on her throat.
Back to bedtime... My two favorite lines in our house right now are "I don't care if you sleep but you HAVE to stay in your bed" and "Mommy's show is on so I'll come back and check on you in [insert random number] minutes." That normally keeps her quiet for a few minutes. Actually getting her into bed and tucked in takes about a half hour and really, I can deal with that. What I can NOT deal with is the INCESSANT coming out of her room because she has to pee, she wanted to know what I was talking about, it's too dark, she needs a new stuffy, her slippers won't stay on, did the DOW just drop again...
I swear when it's 10:30 and she's still getting up for whatever reason, I'm ready to duct tape her cute little ass to the bed. Sorry SuperNanny Jo but your bedtime method does NOT work at this house. She comes out, you put her back, she comes back out. Rinse, lather, repeat.
At my wits end last night, I took out her favorite frog night light and told her it was broken and at the shop for repairs until next week. Truth be told, that light was way too bright and only facilitated her nighttime wakefulness. So, frog-be-gone and no, it's not coming back. I don't care how much screaming is involved. It took us an extra 15 minutes to get her into her bed and tucked in last night and she only came out twice to pee. But she was asleep by I would say 8:30ish.
God I hope that wasn't a fluke...
Labels: Lauren
