Not The Favorite
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Abbott and Costello Reincarnate
I swear Lauren was channeling 1940’s sketch comedy yesterday on the way home from afterschool. Every Tuesday, they go swimming and she had gotten into trouble for using her towel as a skipping rope on the pool deck. She fell on her butt and her towel landed in the pool.
All I wanted was for her to tell me what happened in her words. The following conversation ensued:
Lauren, what happened today at the pool?
I just wanted to skip. That’s all.
Ok, but what exactly happened?
I’m not lying. I’m telling the truth.
I didn’t say you were lying, what happened to get you in trouble at the pool?
I just wanted to skip.
Yes, I know you wanted to skip. Why did you get into trouble?
I’m NOT lying! I’m telling you the truth.
Lauren, for the love of god, just tell me why you got into to trouble!!
I wanted to skip. I’m not lying!
I KNOW THAT. What happened. That got you into trouble. At the pool?
I’m telling the truth!!
WOULD YOU JUST FREAKIN TELL ME WHAT THE EFF (not actual cursing) HAPPENED AT THE FREAKIN POOL?
I already did. And I’m not lying!!
Oh my god. I can’t talk to you anymore. (Turns up the volume on the radio.)
I was just waiting for her to come out with “I’m not lying! Who’s on first?” and then my head to explode.
All I wanted was for her to tell me what happened in her words. The following conversation ensued:
Lauren, what happened today at the pool?
I just wanted to skip. That’s all.
Ok, but what exactly happened?
I’m not lying. I’m telling the truth.
I didn’t say you were lying, what happened to get you in trouble at the pool?
I just wanted to skip.
Yes, I know you wanted to skip. Why did you get into trouble?
I’m NOT lying! I’m telling you the truth.
Lauren, for the love of god, just tell me why you got into to trouble!!
I wanted to skip. I’m not lying!
I KNOW THAT. What happened. That got you into trouble. At the pool?
I’m telling the truth!!
WOULD YOU JUST FREAKIN TELL ME WHAT THE EFF (not actual cursing) HAPPENED AT THE FREAKIN POOL?
I already did. And I’m not lying!!
Oh my god. I can’t talk to you anymore. (Turns up the volume on the radio.)
I was just waiting for her to come out with “I’m not lying! Who’s on first?” and then my head to explode.
Labels: Lauren
