Not The Favorite

So, y’all know about my migraines. Well, I’m on this new medication that seems to be working. But there is a down side. The meds increase my appetite and as a direct result, I’m gaining weight. And there’s no way to tell if it’s just going to be that way for the adjustment period or if it will continue to make me hungry. To make matters worse, it makes me lethargic and basically all I feel like doing is lounging around on my newly-expanding ass. Super. So, I’ll be a migraine-free heifer. Moo.

Remember a few weeks back, SJ, when you told me at family supper that you hadn't seen me eat so much in a long time. (I had seconds and a few helpings of dessert). Just last week, I had 3 maybe 4 pieces of chocolate cake for dessert. Well, now you know why.

I don't feel like I'm eating any more often than usually, just way, waaaayyy more food at one sitting. I'm finding it takes a lot more to get to the point where I think I'm full. I can pack it away like no other, I tell you!

To those who I’ve told about the common side effect of this drug of “massive weight gain” (yeah, it actually said “massive weight gain”) and said it couldn’t be that bad, get this: I’ve gained 8lbs in 6 weeks since starting this drug. Ouch. Now, I know that this doesn’t sound like much but at this point, without sucking in, I look like I’m 5 months along. I’m a small chick, so 8lbs really does make a big difference.

That weird sound you’re hearing is me crying, curled up into a ball in the corner, rocking back and forth, mumbling “sweet merciful crap, this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening…”

What to do, what to do… All the crazy lose weight quickly schemes have flown through my head: only drink water when I’m hungry or go on a liquid diet (this seemed to work for the gastric bypass patients on TV last night, though their weight lose may have had something to do with the fact that their stomach was now a 1oz pouch) . I had to count all these options out because 1. I’m not crazy and 2. I love food WAY too much. God damn, I love those carbs. My favorite right now is PB and honey sandwiches. Don’t laugh, it’s fucking delicious.

My doc suggested the G.I. Diet (Glycemic Index). It’s not a “diet” per say, more like a more efficient way of eating for my body (my lazy, lazy body). Basically, since I don’t feel like doing anything, my body is burning few calories but I continue to eat foods that require a lot of energy to burn off. I’ve been eating high glycemic foods that are quick to break down leaving me hungry faster. The new diet has me eating foods that are low glycemic foods that take longer to break down, leaving me fuller longer. So, I may have an increased appetite but I’m feeding it foods that will shut it up for longer. AND I’m not starving myself! I haven’t gotten the book yet but it goes by a system of classifying foods by red, yellow and green. Red – bad, Yellow – only eat sometimes and Green – go for it!

We’ll see how it turns out. God help me if I keep gaining weight. I can’t afford new pants! It’s not funny because it's true.