Not The Favorite

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Observations to Waste Time

* Chewing Wrigleys Spearmint gum feels like chewing old semi-flavored rubber after a couple minutes.

* Telling a small child that they can't rip their own hat off because it's held together with Velcro, and getting a response of "Oh..." in a tone of, "ok I get it", does not mean they will stop screaming about it.

* Trying to schedule a psych appointment and a doctors appointment on the same day at separate times for two completely different doctors sharing office space, will get you a response of "I'm sorry, we just can't do that."

* Wearing black nail polish simply for the hell of it is just asking for people to call you an Emo.

* Not being assigned to a project and being told that there is nothing for you to do until after Christmas, is still not good enough reason for you to stay home instead of coming to work. If they're going to pay you for doing nothing, they damn well want to see you doing nothing.

* Why do people feel the need to hang wreaths on every single window and door they have on their home? Honestly, do you really need 10? Does it make you that much more festive? Or are you just flaunting how many windows you have?

* More wreaths does not make up for the lack of Christmas lights. Put up the damn lights, you lazy fuckers.

* Is it necessary to get my full name, address and phone number to buy a $4.00 wicker basket?

* It's hard to plug your iPod into the only USB port that will recognize it without a giant installation, if you wrap your computer up like a Christmas present, complete with bow.

* Decorating your desk early for the holidays will only inspire your competition to out-do you by travelling back in time to locate all rejected 70's decorations and then puking them up onto every inch of available wall, floor and desk space. It's not how nicely up put things up, it's SHEER VOLUME that counts!!

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 10:37 AM

2 Comments:

I smell another convert to Festivus. Or maybe that is the gum?

11:12 AM  

love it

8:10 PM  

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