Not The Favorite
Monday, January 01, 2007
A Time to Reflect
I started a new job almost exactly a year ago that seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. An easy job with little responsibility, fun people and a ton of flex time. Jon was on parental leave and got a great opportunity to stay home and bond with Lauren. Everything was great until June. That’s when the year took an unfortunate turn for the worst. I was switched to a new project that I really didn’t want any part of, but the boss asks me to switch and my old project was so slow there was no work for me. What was I going to do? Say Um, no thanks? Not so much. I’ve spent most of my time since being transferred, being confused and waiting for stuff. I’ve been so bored and frustrated that I’ve been brought to tears. I have been verbally assaulted by an over-worked stressed out man, which again caused me to break down and cry. And I have been sent mixed messages about others thoughts on my “commitment to the company”, which again sent me into a crying fit.
This company defines stress, they expect a lot when it’s busy (by which I mean they ask if you can work over time and berate you when you say no) and in my case, don’t give you proper training and then wonder why you’re so unhappy about the task assigned. But you guys gave heard enough about how horrible they are. The last thing I have to say about stress and work is at least I have medication now to tune those bastards out when I need it.
One thing good came out of this new job. I made a really great friend who's helped me get through the rough times and always offers a kind ear to my ramblings. He doesn't always have the answers but he'll always offer up a good laugh to make me forget about my troubles. Thank you for that, Jackamo, you really do make [Insert company name here] more bareable.
Money has played a big part of my personal stress this year. We’ve been very close to losing most of what we have. The baby has cost us virtually nothing aside from formula and diapers because we have a really great family. The money woes stem from student loans and credit card debt. The good side is that we had the good sense to seek help and steer clear of bankruptcy. We are finally stable and have enough money to make ends meet, though we have nothing for much else. Buh-bye fun, hello strict budget. This past year was really hard and I’m thankful that my marriage was strong enough to endure it. Most couples fight about money and it takes a toll on them. We don’t. We never have and that makes all this financial stuff easier to deal with. We both understand the hole we’ve dug and now we’re both sacrificing to get out of it. We are a good team, if only we’d stop fighting about who gets to sleep in and who has to get up early with Lauren.
I would have to say that this last year has been one of my worst and best. Our family has gone through some really rough financial patches and I’ve had the worst year of my working life. On the other hand I’ve had the honor of being the mom of the greatest kid I’ve ever known. She makes all the bad stuff worthwhile and if I had the chance to do everything all over again from when it all started to go down hill, I wouldn’t because then I wouldn’t have her. Jon and I couldn’t have created a more perfect human being, which is the best reason why we won’t be having any more children. How do you top perfection?
I’ve always said that resolutions are useless because they’re never kept. But this year will be different. My New Years Resolution? I vow to be more positive in my professional life. My boss ambushed me with my work review and for the most part it was good (whew…) but I was told that my negative attitude was affecting others. Well, no matter how much this job sucks, it’s become quite clear to me that I am stuck with it. I will from now on try and project a more positive persona or at least keep my displeasure to myself.