Not The Favorite
Monday, December 04, 2006
Letter to Santa
North Pole, Earth
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Lenora's Office party. It was Erika who spiked the punch with too much Gin. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Vanilla.
I thought it was funny when I put Jennie's bra on my head and danced the running man on the love seat while singing `Back that ass up'. I didn't mean to break Lenora's digital camera and don't know why Lenora would accuse me of indecent exposure.
I don't remember calling John's wife a smelly pig---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and black lipstick!
And when I threw up on Erika's husband's chin, it was only because I ate too much of that pie.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Sonata through my neighbor's mud room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a old deer and have me arrested for public drunkness!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all small and tired. And I'm really not to blame for any of this stale stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and hungrily yours,
Jenn (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 41 bucks!
Thanks for the link (and laugh) SJ!