Not The Favorite

Monday, December 04, 2006

Letter to Santa

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Lenora's Office party. It was Erika who spiked the punch with too much Gin. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put Jennie's bra on my head and danced the running man on the love seat while singing `Back that ass up'. I didn't mean to break Lenora's digital camera and don't know why Lenora would accuse me of indecent exposure.

I don't remember calling John's wife a smelly pig---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and black lipstick!

And when I threw up on Erika's husband's chin, it was only because I ate too much of that pie.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Sonata through my neighbor's mud room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a old deer and have me arrested for public drunkness!

So, I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all small and tired. And I'm really not to blame for any of this stale stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and hungrily yours,
Jenn (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 41 bucks!

Thanks for the link (and laugh) SJ!


posted by LadyLipgloss at 2:29 PM


The part about drunken dancing with clothing not where it is supposed to be --- sounds suspiciously familiar .....

2:43 PM  

wow! I don't even remember that party...apparently I wasn't only a smelly pig, but a liquor pig I sitting next to you on that long cold bench in jail?? Should I also ask santa for bail money?

5:46 PM  

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