Not The Favorite

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Go Go Gadget Claws!

So, this weekend I found myself in a comment war. I’m not really sure how it started and I only found out because the owner of the blog left me a comment here saying that things were really heating up over the issue I commented on. The issue? “How early is too early for crying it out?" this was my comment

“I started at 6mths. She cried for about 45mins but the next night it was 30 mins and the following night was 15 mins. By the end of the week, she was going to bed without a peep. She's 21 mths now and bedtime is a breeze.”

I didn’t realize this would create so much drama. Next thing I know, people are telling me “how dare I tell someone to let a 3mth old cry it out? Don’t you think maybe they might need something?” I shot back about how they should re-read my comment and that I was in now way telling someone they should do anything. It went back and forth about them insinuating I’m a bad mother and then me saying they shouldn’t use off-the-cuff remarks about people.

In the end, someone finally commented that we were setting a great example for our kids. I removed all comments aside from the original and left it at that. Honestly, I really didn’t think I was setting a bad example for anyone. I only tried to emphasize that I never tried to tell anyone what to do. As parents, we can only do what we feel is best and that it not my place to pass judgment or push my advice. Of those who have asked for my advice, I simply stated that this is what worked for me.

Your opinion is just that your opinion, not anyone else’s. I find it very annoying when people offer unsolicited advice to mothers and insist that “this is best.” “Best” is subjective. It may be best for her child, not yours. Every kid is different and every parent is different. We even parent each of our kids differently.

To this anonymous commenter who tried to make me feel bad, you are the reason I haven’t joined a play group. You are the mother I avoid at all cost. You are the person who makes others feel bad to make you feel good. You are not the expert of any child, but your own. I will not EVER tell someone they should/must do something because a book/article told me to. A book is a guide, not the be-all end-all in child rearing. So, you can shove your Dr. Sears “bible” up your ass. Oh, you might want to remove the stick first.

Don’t think that I missed your point either. See, I read comments thoroughly before I make an ass out of myself. I understand that you were just trying to make the point that there are other methods to get baby on a sleep schedule. And I never said there weren’t. Your problem is that you should have just posted your advice and not asked “How dare you…” That’s just asking for a verbal whipping.

Feel free to post a comment here, Anonymous. As long as I play fair and not give any low blows, I can’t ever be a bad example to my child by sticking up for myself.

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posted by LadyLipgloss at 11:37 AM


I read all the comments on the so called issue you are talking about. I agree with you that books are a guide not the holy bible of child upbringing. I personally started sleep training Hannah at 3 months and she has slept thru the night ever since. But just because it worked for me doesn't me that its everyones cup of tea.

3:12 PM  

Wow! I missed something really big. You are absolutely right in saying that what works for one may not work for them all and that there is never ONE way of doing something. Each child is different and how you deal with their uniqueness is, of course, unique to each child.
We are of the same mindset that there are so many who make life difficult that we are hesitant to join a group. My husband was a beaver leader and you'd think the world ended and that it was his fault!!! We don't volunteer for anything anymore.
That's why he hates people soooo much.
Good for you for sticking up for yourself and being the mature person

5:22 PM  

Very well said. However, I have to take issue with posting as Anonymous. Personally, I cannot take anyone seriously if they are too cowardly to use their real name and cop out by signing off as Anonymous. If you feel that strongly in your beliefs, than put on your big girl panties and sign your name.

The Big Sister - SARAH

8:36 AM  

Wow! That sounds like a pissing match to me.....your a parent, I'm a parent, mine is older than yours and I know what I did, other parents I may not agree with but we are ALL parents and we are in this together......and its called respect.....

Hey I screwed a lot of things up that I thought was best and later learned I was a dumb ass....the only club I ever belonged to was the "international club of dumb asses".....its the only one I could make the grade in :o)

As for the anonymous person - get a gripe and climb off your high horse cuz sooner or later your gonna fall and break your neck.

9:32 AM  

I agree with Sarah, very well said. I found, from reading some of those books, that it made me completely paranoid. Our parents did everything backwards from what they are "suggesting" now and we all turned out just fine.
You're right....Anonymous is sounds like every mother i would want to avoid too.

9:55 PM  

I can't believe you wrote about this, it must have really got to you. I'm glad you came back and posted a defense for yourself, I didn't realize you erased your comments tho.

I think it is usually the same person trying to cause trouble there, and I didn't want them to getaway with calling someone down and having the last word on it.

I think you are completely correct though in saying that all children are different.

I don't know why some people feel that they need to turn things around into a debate. one girl asked a simple question, and "anonymous" went off on a what's right, what's wrong rant.... ARG!

9:11 AM  

Ah, my kid cries it out all the time!! If he is tired and a cracky ass downstairs with me and crying, he may as well be upstairs away from me in his bed crying being a cracky ass. He has learned that bedtime is for sleeping....but that method works for us and I wouldn't make anyone feel bad for not trying it not do I care if someone feels I am a bad parent for doing it. I don't do parenting books....I use the trial and error methods.

9:16 AM  

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